Baggage Claim
by Mikauzoran
Summary: When both parties bring baggage into a relationship, there are bound to be issues to resolve. Kaito is at his breaking point when Shinichi runs out on their anniversary for work. Again. Shinichi is unaware that he has a problem, and Hakuba is determined to keep the other two together and happy, even if he has to disregard his own feelings to do so.
1. The Problem

Mikau: Hi all! We have a KaiShin one for you today! This was done for the Poirot Café Forum Prompt Exchange 16. Tobina wanted "A ShinXKai story with an annoyed Kaito who has to deal with a workaholic Shinichi.", so you have her to thank for this. This first chapter is the setup with Hakuba and Kaito, and it actually turned out a lot more somber than I had originally intended with the guys talking through some of their issues, but I promise there will be a big, beautiful, happy KaiShin end. I hope to have chapter two up next week. Until then, I hope you enjoy chapter one!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd probably get to read the Hannin no Hanzawa-san spinoff manga before everyone…but I don't.

…

Chapter One: The Problem

Hakuba Saguru and Kuroba Kaito were having a very awkward romantic dinner by candlelight at a ridiculously expensive restaurant in Shibuya courtesy of Kudo Shinichi.

Saguru was running out of topics of conversation that he could carry by himself while Kaito made one-word answers and noises of acknowledgement.

"…and then the Kaitou KID dropped out of the sky and saved the poodle from the purple crocodile and the chinchilla in the fedora," Hakuba concluded with a deadpan expression.

"Oh, really?" Kaito replied mildly, looking out the window as he jiggled his fork in irritation.

Kaito was not paying attention.

"Yes, really," Saguru insisted with a straight face. "My imaginary friend, Henri the hedgehog, showed me the video on YouTube."

This was going to make a fantastic children's story. He'd have to share it with Aoko later. Maybe Keiko could do the illustrations. It didn't even matter that Saguru had been trying to tell Kaito what a stressful day he'd had what with the kidnapping and everything.

…It mattered a little, but Hakuba couldn't really hold it against his friend.

It was their anniversary—Kudo and Kuroba's, not Hakuba's—their second anniversary, and Kudo had run out on Kaito, _yet_ _again_ , in the middle of their romantic evening together, leaving Hakuba to pinch hit. Yet again. It was the second time this week, and they were only four days in.

It had been nice spending time with his best friend, and Saguru had gotten to see a very interesting revival of the Arsène Lupin play, and now this extravagant, five course French dinner that Kudo had paid for…it beat whipping up something himself (probably cup ramen) or getting a convenience store bento, but—

"—Do you think this is his way of breaking up with me without having to take responsibility for breaking up with me?" Kaito broke in on Saguru's thoughts, finally turning to face Saguru. The look in Kaito's eyes was desperate, a little wild.

Hakuba was so thrown off balance by this sudden pleading question that he didn't have time to answer before Kaito was off again, the words tumbling out of his mouth, falling like raindrops steadily morphing into a downpour.

"Because I can totally see him doing something like that. Is he sabotaging the relationship to try to get _me_ to break up with _him_ , so that it's not his fault?"

"I don't think—"

"—Did I do something wrong?" Kaito frowned down into his plate and plaintively asked his oysters. "Am I not exciting anymore? I mean, we've been dating for two years and living together for one. Is the once-enigmatic Kaitou KID no longer a stimulating enough puzzle to solve? Is he bored with me?"

"Kai," Saguru tried to cut in. "Kudo's just—"

"—Do you think there's someone else?" Kaito gasped, looking up at Saguru in horror as the thought occurred to him. "Do you think it's Hattori? Is he secretly keeping Hattori in some little love nest in Tokyo? Because, otherwise, Osaka's too far to run out on me as often as Shinichi does. Maybe he has multiple lovers, and Hattori's only one of them. I mean, he can't seriously work as much as he claims he does. I bet he has someone call pretending to be work so that he can slip away from me under a veneer of legitimacy. People do that, don't they? They have their friends call them and pretend there's an emergency so they can ditch lame dates, right?"

" _Kaito_ ," Saguru firmly intoned, raising his voice to drown out Kaito's mental chatter. He placed one hand over Kaito's and used the other to pry the fork out of Kaito's grip where he was grasping it so hard it was beginning to cut into his fingers.

"Calm down," Saguru gently instructed, holding Kaito's gaze. "Deep breaths, okay? One…two…three…good. Now listen to me. You are dating a workaholic. I personally witness cases coming in for him when he cancels on you, and I see him at his desk at night when everyone else has long ago cleared out. He is not fabricating work in order to cheat on you. Okay?"

Kaito stared at Hakuba for a few seconds and then slowly nodded. "He…really does stay super late at work? He's not sneaking off with anyone and then pretending to come home late straight from work?"

"He's really there working ludicrous hours," Saguru confirmed. "He's there every night when _I_ leave, and you know how late I work."

Chewing on his lip, Kaito considered this for a moment, slowly nodding.

Saguru pursed his lips, hesitated, but finally asked, "…Kai, how long have you been concerned that Kudo's been cheating on you?"

Kaito looked down at his vegetable tarte and shrugged as he picked his fork back up and started poking at his food. "A year and a half, off and on."

"Kai," Saguru cooed sympathetically. "And you never mentioned it?"

Kaito shrugged again, pushing a cherry tomato around his plate. "The first six months after we'd started dating, it was like I was everything to him, and I really liked that because…" Kaito bit his lip. "You know how close I was with my dad. He always included me, even in things he probably shouldn't have, and he always made time for me, even when he was busy running around the world on tours. I always knew that I was a priority with my dad. But then my mom…"

Kaito took a deep breath and a sip of his water. "She broke after Dad died. It wasn't her fault. She just couldn't deal…with anything. She left to try to get herself back together, and she left me behind…and I knew that I didn't matter anymore. I know now that that isn't true and that she didn't mean to mess me up like that and that she does care, she was just going through her own hell, but…I was a little kid, and I'd just lost the most important person in the world to me when I wasn't even old enough to really understand what had happened and why Dad wasn't coming home, even though I was there in the theatre and I _saw_ …" Kaito stopped, forcing himself to take a breath before he started hyperventilating. "…and then my mom left too, and I didn't matter."

Saguru pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and scooted his chair closer so that he could wipe away the tears Kaito probably didn't even realize were pooling in the corners of his eyes. "…And that's why you jumped at the chance to throw yourself in front of bullets without regard for your personal safety."

"Pandora was important," Kaito muttered, too tired to shoo Hakuba away. "And it's not like I was deliberately trying to get myself killed or anything. It was never something I was conscious of. I just…at that point, I'd already internalized that _I_ wasn't important. But Pandora _was_ important, so it made sense that I do everything in my power to…but that doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that those first six months with Shinichi, I was precious to someone again for the first time since Dad, and I really liked that."

"Did I never make you feel important?" Saguru wondered, accidentally vocalizing the thought.

Kaito blinked, eyes really and truly focusing on Saguru for once that evening. "You…did, just…it was a little complicated. KID mattered, but Kaito…not so much. Not until later, and then it was…I was important sometimes—really important—but then you would leave for England, and…I don't know. It kind of felt like you didn't want me to be important? You're still like that, and it kind of plays with my head a bit."

Saguru nodded once. "I see." He didn't bother letting Kaito know that that was exactly the problem. Saguru had retreated to England whenever he felt that his classmate and rival was getting to be a little bit too important to him to be healthy.

"Sorry," he hastily added. "You _are_ extremely important. You're the most precious friend I've ever had. I've shared this with you a little here and there, but I have demons too: my own complexes and my own unhealthy relationships with other human beings."

Kaito nodded. "You don't always know how to deal with me—with other people in general. I get it."

"So it will be understood in the future that I care about you, even when I act 'like I don't want you to be important' to me?"

Kaito cracked the tiniest smile. "Yeah. I've been assuming that ever since you called me from Paris to discuss Chat Noir. My suspicions were confirmed when KID's glove went missing during the Nightmare incident. I mattered enough for you to throw your morals out the window and help a thief."

Hakuba grimaced, caught red handed. "Well. So long as you knew…. Back to when you first suspected Kudo of cheating on you?"

Kaito's face darkened once more, and he went back to chasing tomatoes around his plate with his fork. "The first six months were great. He had that kind of all-consuming passion, and I adored being the object of it, but then he started having to cancel on me last minute. At first, I really did believe that it was legitimately work-related, but when it _kept_ happening and then starting happening every week… I was going to break up with him, but then he asked me to move in with him, and it was like the first six months all over again."

"But now he's started neglecting you once more," Hakuba surmised.

"And it's worse than ever," Kaito sighed, raking his hands through his hair in frustration. "I mean, you've noticed. He calls you to fill in whenever he ditches me. Tonight's our anniversary for God's sake. What the hell? I know it's April Fool's Day, but in what universe does he think it's acceptable to run out on your significant other on your anniversary? It's not like he's the only detective Division One has. Sure, the others aren't as good as he is, but they're by no means incompetent. Even Division Two back in the day wasn't incompetent. Division One has plenty of good cops. He doesn't need to solve every single case himself. Right?"

Hakuba nodded. "I don't think that _he_ realizes that."

Kaito took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. He stabbed a piece of asparagus and popped it into his mouth. "I feel like a widow, you know? Only, I'm not married and my partner isn't dead. I realize what a big deal his job is. I don't want to trivialize what he does, but these past few months, I can't help feeling like his job means more to him than I do."

"Kai, you know that's not true," Saguru gently assured.

Kaito looked up from his plate and quietly asked, "If that's not true, why am I eating dinner with you?"

Hakuba rested the tip of his tongue on his teeth as his mind raced to produce a satisfactory answer. All he could come up with was "why do I have to defend Kudo?"

"… _Because Kaito will be sad, if Kudo doesn't have a valid excuse."_

"If I matter more than his job, why does he consistently choose work over me?" Kaito continued, voice cold and detached.

Saguru could tell it was traces of the old poker face covering up all the hurt and disappointment.

"I could understand every once in a while, if there was a truly big case where they absolutely had to have him—a kidnapping, a hostage situation, a serial killer, a death threat—something where him being there could mean the difference between life or death for someone. _That_ I could understand. _That_ truly is more important than I am, but Shinichi ditches me for run of the mill murders, petty thefts—things officers in other divisions ask him to ride along on on a whim. We can be watching a movie together, and he'll run out on me when he gets a call from someone wanting him to weigh in on a fraud case."

Saguru winced. Had it really gotten that bad?

"If I matter, why isn't he there when it's important?" Kaito sighed.

Saguru leaned in to wipe away Kaito's welling tears again. "I'm going to talk to him. Kai, it's going to be all right."

Kaito shook his head. "There have been two times when we've been in bed and he's left for a case. He'd rather solve a case than stay in bed with me. How am I supposed to feel about that? What does that say about his priorities? Either I'm not as good as I thought I was, or he cares more about work. This isn't something that can be fixed by you talking to him, Haku-chan. We're beyond that."

Hakuba took a few calming breaths before he could reply. "I'm going to challenge him to a duel, and then, if we both survive, I'm going to explain to him what a bloody idiot he is."

Kaito rolled his eyes and smiled, seemingly under the impression that Saguru was joking. "Maybe I should just break up with him. He makes me feel like crap most of the time, but when he's with me, actually with me…it feels so right, like things could be good, we could be good, if we could just figure things out. I want to figure things out because I don't think I have it in me to love anyone else like I love him."

Saguru bit the inside of his cheek and forced himself to keep a neutral expression. "Kai, this really doesn't sound like a healthy relationship."

"I'm not sure I'm capable of having a healthy relationship at this point," Kaito replied honestly. "I don't know what one looks like. It's not like I've had the best role models, so…I'm seeing a therapist, though, so I might be able to have a healthy relationship one day, if I keep working at it."

"That's good, Kai. It's important to know that you have a problem and to seek help. Actually, I'm very proud of you, as I know how you feel about asking for assistance…. What does your therapist say about your relationship with Kudo, if you don't mind me asking?"

"She says I deserve better." Kaito shrugged, going back to his tarte and making a good faith attempt to eat it.

"Do you believe that you deserve better?" Saguru wondered. He had a suspicion he already knew the answer.

"I _want_ better," Kaito replied without directly answering the question as asked. He kept his gaze down and continued eating.

"Do you believe that you deserve love?" Saguru tested.

Kaito rolled his eyes and faked a grin. "Everyone deserves to be loved, and, as I am part of that everyone, I guess I deserve love too."

Saguru nodded slowly. "So you don't believe you deserve better or love, but you want those things and you want to believe that you actually deserve them. I suppose that's a step in the right direction."

Kaito looked up at Hakuba in challenge. "Do _you_ believe you deserve love?"

Saguru grimaced as he laughed out loud at that. "You've got me. I think I don't deserve love so much that I am actively pushing it away." _"Right this very second."_ "I do, however, believe that I deserve respect and some measure of contentment in life. I have a right to be here, and I am a worthwhile human being whom other human beings could find reason to care for."

"You've improved in the last decade I've known you," Kaito hummed contemplatively. "We are seriously screwed up, you know that? Other people don't have to learn as adults that they have a right to exist and be cared for."

"Other people grow up in stable family environments and don't come face to face with death and destruction so early on in life," Saguru countered.

Kaito considered for a moment before conceding, "Point."

"We're going to be okay, though," Saguru assured. "We're both getting better."

"Right," Kaito whispered with conviction. "You're right. …And I'll be fine as soon as I fix things with Shinichi. What am I supposed to do? Maybe I should cheat on him. That would give him a wakeup call, if he thought he was losing me." Kaito smiled sheepishly. "Will you have an affair with me?"

Hakuba nearly fell out of his chair. "Kuroba Kaito," he scolded.

"Pretend to have an affair with me?" Kaito amended. "You're the only one I can ask. I don't want to just go out to a bar and pick someone up. Besides, you're the only one I'd ever actually leave Shinichi for."

Saguru's jaw dropped slightly. He must have misheard.

"Sorry." Kaito's cheeks lit up sakura blossom pink. "Sorry. I didn't mean…I mean…you know what I mean…only you don't. Sorry. What I meant was…that no sane person would leave Shinichi unless it was for you, so it would only make sense, if I had an affair with…am I making it worse?"

"Yes. Stop talking," Saguru commanded, putting a hand over his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry," Kaito whispered, nibbling on his lower lip. "I just—"

"—Shush." Hakuba nipped further explanation in the bud.

Kaito was tempted to apologize again, but he wisely held his tongue.

After Saguru had had nearly a full minute to process, he finally looked up and announced, "Kai, I am your friend as well as Kudo's. I am not ruining either of those friendships by getting caught up in fake dating drama. I am going to take you home after dinner, and tomorrow I will explain to your numbskull of a boyfriend everything he's been doing wrong because I know for a fact he's crazy in love with you, and I honestly think he deserves a second chance to try to improve."

"How do you know he's crazy in love with me?" Kaito couldn't help sounding eager in his curiosity.

Hakuba rolled his eyes. "He has a picture of you on his desk, and he's always making eyes at it. Whenever he talks about you, it's so sappy and gross, it nearly makes me sick. You've heard Takagi-keibu talk about his kids before, right?"

Kaito's cheeks began to burn in a mix of pleasure and mortification " _Yes_ , and?"

"That's how Kudo talks about you. In front of the entire division," Saguru groaned.

"Oh my God," Kaito chortled. "Oh my God."

"So I _know_ he loves you. _You_ are not the problem. The problem is somewhere in Kudo's thick skull, and I'm going to smoke it out and fix it, starting tomorrow."

"Thank you, Haku-chan." Kaito smiled, and it was the first full-blown, at ease smile Saguru had seen from his friend in weeks. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate you doing this for me."

Saguru waved Kaito's thanks away. "I've taken it upon myself to ensure your happiness."

Kaito whistled, impressed. "Geez. That's a tall order. Don't freak out, if you don't succeed. No one in their right mind would hold you to it."

"I'm holding me to it," Hakuba insisted.

"Like I said," Kaito chuckled. "No one in their right mind…"

Once again Saguru waved away Kaito's remark as if it were a mosquito.

There was a beat of silence, and a serious mood suddenly infused the air.

"You do know that I care about you, right? How important you are to me?" Kaito asked, voice low.

"Of course." Saguru shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

"No, seriously," Kaito insisted. "I love you. Like how I love Aoko. You're that important to me."

Saguru was nearly speechless. He stared up at Kaito, stunned. "That…means a lot to me, Kai."

Aoko was the pinnacle of Kaito's affections. Aoko love was pure love, beyond the twisted, dysfunctional romantic love and familial love that were so complicated for Kaito. Aoko had never betrayed him or turned her back on him, even when he had lied and gone behind hers. Even after all that, she had tried to understand, listened to his explanation, and eventually forgiven him. Throughout it all, she had never stopped loving him.

Aoko was the strongest, truest, healthiest bond that Kaito had, and for him to compare that with Saguru…

"I really don't know what to say," Hakuba offered apologetically. "I know what that _means_ , and…"

"You don't believe anyone could actually feel like that about you," Kaito finished, nodding in understanding. "That's okay. Why don't you sit with that a while and try to digest it? I'm going to have them bring out dessert."


	2. The Confrontation

Mikau: Hello everyone! Welcome to chapter two where we have the confrontation between Hakuba and Shinichi. I actually got this done pretty fast, and I'm fairly happy with it. Hopefully, if I keep moving at this pace, I'll have the KaiShin reconciliation chapter done by the weekend. Anyway, here's chapter two. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, Hakuba would get more screen time…in which I would probably emotionally torture the poor baby.

…

Chapter Two: The Confrontation

Kaito ended up coming home with Saguru.

"I don't want to sit at home feeling sorry for myself on my anniversary, and I don't want to deal with Shinichi tonight when he comes home at four AM. I am not human at four AM, and I'm liable to tear his head off, I'm still so pissed at him," Kaito explained as he begged sanctuary for the night.

Hakuba hadn't finished wrestling with Kaito's revelation about the depths of the friendship he felt for Hakuba, so Hakuba didn't have the energy to put up much of a fight. Besides, Kaito had legitimate reasons.

So the pair made their way to Saguru's posh apartment near the border of Beika and Ekoda. They ended up staying up late playing odd board games that Kaito had ordered online and kept stashed at Saguru's. It was nearly three by the time they were so tired and bleary-eyed that they couldn't read the cards and decided to crawl into their respective futons.

Just before Saguru passed out, he heard Kaito whisper, "Thanks for tonight, Haku-chan. You really helped to salvage the anniversary. I don't know what I would have done, if you hadn't been there to talk me down."

"Any time," Saguru yawned as his eyes slipped closed.

…

"You've become downright domestic," Hakuba chuckled as Kaito rolled layers of tamagoyaki with chopsticks in his one hand while flipping pancakes with the other. "You never used to cook like this when you lived on your own."

"It turns out I just needed the right man in my life to make me want to get in touch with my inner homemaker," Kaito snickered. "Honestly, though, if I didn't cook for him, he'd subsist on that motor oil you guys at the station call coffee."

"He appreciates your homemade bento." A bittersweet smile tugged at Saguru's lips as he watched Kaito moving about his kitchen. "He never forgets to eat it because he knows how much hard work you put into it for him."

"He never forgets because the one time he did, he got an earful about it," Kaito chuckled, scooping four mini pancakes onto Saguru's plate and holding it out to him.

"Thank you," Hakuba acknowledged, taking the plate and heading over to the kitchen table. "Kudo enjoys your cooking, and he's always bragging about you. Frankly, it makes me jealous. I didn't realize how good I had it with Baaya taking care of me for so long. Kudo shares a bite every once in a while, and it makes me think that it'd be quite nice to have someone who cared for me make me a bento. It's rather tiresome cooking for yourself all the time, as I'm sure you're aware."

Kaito flipped his own pancakes onto a plate (where they landed one after the last in a near-perfect stack) and came to the table. "I could always make extra," he offered with a single-shoulder shrug.

Saguru blinked. "Beg pardon?"

"When I make lunch for Shinichi and me. I could make extra and send it with Shinichi for you," Kaito clarified. "It really wouldn't be any trouble to make a bigger batch while I'm cooking for two anyway, and it's not like we're strapped for cash, so buying the extra ingredients is a nonissue. You're on your own for dinner, but I could make a lunch for you."

Hakuba's mouth flapped open and closed several times. The thought of eating Kaito's bento every day was…but… "I couldn't possibly—"

"—Eat your pancakes before they get cold," Kaito commanded, cutting up the tamagoyaki roll and dividing it between the two of them.

Flustered, Saguru acquiesced.

"You know, Haku-chan," Kaito talked through a mouthful of egg. "you're always taking care of me, but you never take care of yourself. You won't even let other people take care of you, not even me. Why is that?"

Saguru avoided eye contact. "Self-worth issues," he mumbled down into his plate.

Kaito nodded. "Well, I, for one, believe that you are worth taking care of, so I'm making you a lunch."

"…Thank you," Saguru muttered into a bite of pancake. "…Kai, I'm going to fix things for you with Kudo."

Kaito's brow furrowed. "It's not your fault if you don't," he insisted. "Shinichi and I both have a lot of issues. This isn't some fairy tale where you can wave your wand, magic me up a sexy dress, and send me off to the ball and my happily ever after. My therapist assures me that relationships take a lot of work, and it's hard to fix things that are broken."

"But they _can_ be fixed." Saguru latched on to the idea.

"But they can be fixed," Kaito agreed. "…Haku-chan, as much as I appreciate your help, I really should be the one trying harder to fix things with my boyfriend. You shouldn't have to do this for me."

"Kudo will probably receive it better from me," Hakuba reasoned. "You're tired and upset. You'll start yelling, he won't understand what the problem is, and things will spiral out of control. You two need a mediator until Kudo is able to comprehend that he's doing something wrong."

Kaito sighed, stuffing another section of tamagoyaki into his mouth. "You're probably right. I'll only make things worse, going in there as upset and illogical as I am right now. I guess I'll take responsibility for the state of my relationship after you explain things to my idiot boyfriend."

"Probably for the best," Hakuba agreed. "…And, for what it's worth, I don't think you two are broken yet. My parents were broken. You're just bending to a dangerous point, but I think we've caught you before you've snapped. It's going to be all right, Kai."

"Thanks, Haku-chan." Kaito smiled softly, feeling oddly lighter.

…

When Saguru arrived at HQ with two bento in hand, he had two distinct plans. Plan one was to inform Shinichi that Saguru was going to hit him (so as to be a good sport about the whole business) and then to do so while enumerating all the ways Shinichi was an inferior boyfriend at a decibel level so elevated that even the traffic divisions down the hall would know what a lousy boyfriend Kudo was.

That plan was code named "The Hattori Heiji Plan" in honor of Saguru's least favorite peer in order to remind him how rash and childish the plan was.

Plan two required patience, active listening, brutal honesty, suspension of judgment, and, frankly, more maturity than Hakuba really felt capable of at the moment. This was "Plan Baaya", and Hakuba really couldn't say for sure which plan he would be enacting right up to the point when he arrived at the door to Division One.

He paused in the hall to do some quick breathing exercises and then took out his pocket watch to glance at the time in order to ground himself before going into battle.

With a heavy sigh, Saguru pulled open the door and saw Kudo Shinichi asleep at his desk.

Saguru frowned, turning to Nakanishi to inquire, "How long has Kudo been here?"

Nakanishi shrugged. "I got in at eight, and he's been there like that since then."

"I think he's been here all night," Morita interjected. "He was here when I left at ten, and he was still here when I got back in this morning."

Hakuba nodded. "Sounds about right. Thanks."

Blowing out a slow calming breath, Hakuba strode across the room to set Shinichi's bento down on the desk in front of him. He winced when he caught a glimpse of the crime scene photos from a dismemberment case that Shinichi had fallen asleep on top of.

"How in the world can you sleep so soundly?" Saguru wondered aloud.

Seeing as, from the eye witness testimony anyway, Kudo had been asleep since at least eight o'clock that morning and it was now well past noon, Saguru determined it would be safe to wake the other detective. Kudo functioned fairly well on four hours of sleep, so he should be able to fully participate in their discussion.

Saguru cleared away the empty coffee cups that were all huddled together in the top left corner of Shinichi's desk and went across the room to Division One's personal kitchenette to get a fresh cup. Only then, with his offering of coffee in hand, did Saguru dare wake Kudo Shinichi.

"I wasn't asleep," Shinichi protested. "I was only resting my eyes, and I know where the next body dump is going to take place."

"Shut up and drink your coffee," Saguru instructed. "Then and only then can you go tell Takagi-keibu about the next drop site."

"Thanks," Shinichi chuckled, scratching his cheek in that dorky fashion of his that Kaito liked to coo over. Shinichi quickly drained the cup irrespective of its scalding state. "How's Kaito?"

Saguru was a little impressed that Shinichi showed no indication that it had hurt to burn off all of his taste buds. Then again, Shinichi downed the stuff so often that he probably didn't have any taste buds left. Perhaps he had developed a pain tolerance for near-boiling liquids?

"Hakuba?" Shinichi raised an eyebrow at Saguru. "You there?"

"Sorry." Hakuba grimaced. "It was rather an eventful night. I didn't sleep much, so…easily distracted," he offered by way of an excuse. "Kaito is…not happy."

"I didn't figure," Shinichi sighed, starting to massage his neck. "I really wanted last night to be special, but then this case came up, and…" he trailed off and then remembered. "Thanks for covering for me, by the way. I always really appreciate it when you keep Kaito company last minute. I feel like a jerk having to leave him, but what am I supposed to do?" Shinichi raked a hand through his hair as he sighed again. "Besides, I know Kaito understands. He's always been super supportive. I really don't know what I'd do without him."

Hakuba bit the inside of his cheek. Hard. He kept a neutral face as he nodded politely. "You're very welcome. I'm always glad to spend time with Kaito, and I know how he gets lonely when you work long hours." It came out slightly more barbed than Hakuba had intended. Switching gears, he asked, "Kudo, by any chance was that dismemberment case the one that you left for last night?"

Shinichi frowned. "Yeah. Some sicko's been hacking women up and dropping their bodies…what's left of them, anyway. Victim number three came in last night. I've finally got it, though. I'm kind of ticked at myself that it took me so long, but it's Jack the Ripper. If you overlay a map of Beika with Whitechapel, the drop sites line up with the first three canonical Jack the Ripper victims. The timing isn't the same—this one's been doing one every week instead of following the original timeline—so I'm not expecting a fourth victim to turn up today like with Elizabeth Stride and Catherine Eddowes being found within an hour of one another, but now that we know the pattern, we may be able to stop this monster."

Saguru forced his jaw closed, took a deep breath, and exclaimed, "Why in heaven's name did you tell Kaito that you had to leave to work on an arson case?!"

Shinichi stared blankly at Saguru and then blinked once. "How do you think he would have reacted if I had said, 'Gotta go, Honey. I have to solve a case where the perp is mincing his victims into meat pie filling.'?" he sighed in exasperation. "As much time as Kaito has spent around us over the years, he's still scarred from seeing his father get blown up. He doesn't deal well with death and the people he cares about being in danger. He wouldn't sleep nights, if he knew half the stuff I do, so…" Shinichi shrugged helplessly. "I leave out the serial killers and the child killers and the cop killers and the bombers. Arson and counterfeiting and bank robberies and one-off murders are more palatable, so when I have to bring up work, I'm selective. Besides, I really did work on an arson case last night as a break from the Jack the Ripper-wannabe."

Hakuba pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand while the other fished in his pocket to feel of his watch for comfort. "Kudo, go talk to Takagi-keibu about your breakthrough in the case. Once you finish, we need to have a serious discussion, so grab the bento Kaito sent for you, and we'll go up to the roof to eat where no one will interrupt us."

Shinichi gave Hakuba an odd look, but he didn't offer any argument.

…

Shinichi finished chewing the last of his rice, set down his bento, and turned to face Hakuba with a sigh, "You said we needed to have a serious discussion. Is this about Kaito?"

Hakuba nodded somberly.

Shinichi took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Are you going to tell me that you're in love with him? I mean, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make it awkward between us, but I do know, Hakuba, and I'm mostly fine with it. I know you two are weirdly close and your relationship kind of stretches the definition of platonic sometimes, but I'm also secure in the fact that Kaito would never cheat on me, so we really don't have to make a big deal out of this."

Saguru nearly swallowed his own tongue. Thankfully, he was able to save himself from total embarrassment by pretending to be choking on his Beijing cucumber salad. This bought him enough time to regain his composure before responding.

It was a good thing because otherwise he might have snapped something irrevocable such as "Kaito asked me to have an affair with him last night" or "Kaito said he would leave you for _me_ " or, worst of all, "Kaito's considering breaking up with you". Kudo might actually believe that last one, and then he would be so freaked out that Saguru wouldn't be able to have a constructive conversation with him. Kaito was counting on Saguru to break the ice with Kudo concerning this issue, and Saguru couldn't let him down just because Saguru was feeling childish and spiteful.

"Excuse me." Saguru cleared his throat, surreptitiously skimming his fingers over his pocket watch. "While I'm glad to hear you have no major problem with my relationship with Kaito, I didn't bring you up here to talk about me."

Shinichi raised an eyebrow. "Then…what are we here to talk about?"

"You know how whenever KID didn't feel like you were paying enough attention to him, he'd sulk and then get vindictive and then destructive?" Hakuba determined that this was the best lead-in to get Kudo to understand just exactly what they were dealing with.

Shinichi's eyebrow went higher to meet his hairline. "Yes?"

"Well, Kaito and KID aren't that dissimilar in how they deal with perceived neglect, and you've been cancelling on your boyfriend and running off to solve crimes a little too often lately," Hakuba summarized.

Surprisingly, Shinichi rolled his eyes, laughing as he waved away Saguru's warning. "Hakuba, I appreciate your concern, but Kaito and I are fine. I know you're probably thinking that you would do better, if it were you in my place, but Kaito understands when I have to cancel. Besides, I don't do it too often."

Saguru actually put his hand inside of his pocket and ran his finger along the ribbing on the watch case. He took a deep breath. "Kudo, when was the last time you cleared your schedule and really made time for Kaito?"

Shinichi replied with a single shoulder shrug, "Three weeks ago at that award dinner. I took the night off to go with Kaito."

Saguru's eye twitched. He wanted to say, "For someone with an eidetic memory, you're awfully forgetful." Instead, he calmly reminded, "Kudo, you got a call fifteen minutes into the evening and left that award dinner. What you're remembering are the pictures that _I_ took for you."

Shinichi bit his lip as he looked away and up, fishing around in his memories. "You know, I think you're right. Sorry. Sleeping at your desk after being up all night working on a dismemberment really isn't conducive to accurate recall. Okay. How about in March when I took him to that special soccer match with—"

"—He only went because it was important to you, and you ran off halfway through to solve a murder." Saguru couldn't help the peevish tone that slipped into his voice that time. "When was the last time that you made time for Kaito, doing something that was important to him, giving him your undivided attention, Kudo?"

Shinichi snorted, shrugging Hakuba off. "Again, I appreciate you looking out for Kaito's best interests as a concerned friend, but I think maybe you need to back off a little. Our relationship doesn't need a backseat driver. Kaito and I are _fine_. We spend _lots_ of time together—I mean, we live together—doing all kinds of important mundane things like watching movies in the evening or snuggling on the couch while we're reading or goofing off in the kitchen while we cook together or even just brushing our teeth together in the morning. We don't have to go out and do anything special for it to count as quality time together."

Saguru tried to break in and explain, but Shinichi kept going, steamrolling right over Saguru's attempts.

"I know you think you know best because you two have been friends for so long and you're really close, but, apparently, I'm doing pretty well on my own because I'm the one he's with and you're not."

Saguru could see that Shinichi regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. Shinichi even tried to backpedal and apologize with a, "That was too harsh. Sorry. Like I said with the sleeping at my desk and the dismemberment, but… Look. Hakuba, I'm sorry, but just back off, okay? We're fine."

Hakuba pulled out his pocket watch and opened it. 14:02:43, April second. He forced himself to breathe and stuff down his own personal feelings on the matter. He was here because Kaito needed him to be here. Hakuba knew—had known for a long time—that he couldn't be the one who would make Kaito happy. He'd accepted and come to terms with it. It still stung that he couldn't have more, but Hakuba was content being a second Aoko in Kaito's life. That role was more important to Kaito than Kudo's of lover, and so it was enough for Hakuba.

Saguru snapped the watch closed and met Shinichi's gaze. "Kudo, how can you be okay when I've been going on more dates with your boyfriend these past few months than you have?"

Saguru didn't let up, adding, "How can you be okay when you left your boyfriend twice during intimacy to solve some case?"

Shinichi's face went scarlet. "It wasn't _during_. Once I left afterwards during cuddle time, and the other time we hadn't even really started when the phone call came in, so…but that's really none of your business. Why the hell are you so bent on making me want to punch you today?"

"Believe me, it wasn't my intention, but at least now we're even," Hakuba muttered. "You made Kaito cry last night."

All the color drained from Shinichi's face. "What?" he whispered.

"You. Made. Kaito. Cry," Saguru repeated. "Last night and I'm not sure how many nights before, but you two are _not_ fine when Kaito thinks you're having people call pretending to be work so that you can sneak off and cheat on him. It's not fine that Kaito thinks you're trying to sabotage your relationship so that _he'll_ break up with you so that you can avoid the responsibility of being the one to end it. He's been concerned that you've been cheating on him for a year and a half now, off and on. He's been considering leaving you."

"Stop," Shinichi growled, low and guttural, springing to his feet and backing away from Hakuba before he did something rash. "I know what you're trying to do." Shinichi clinched and un-clinched his fists. "You're trying to turn us against one another, make us doubt each other. I don't care that you've been insanely in love with my boyfriend since high school, I'm not going to let you break us up."

Hakuba groaned, getting to his feet and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "You idiot. I'm not telling you all this to damage your relationship. I'm trying to get it through your skull how bad things are because I'm trying to keep you two together."

Shinichi laughed mockingly. "Why in the world would you want to do that? How does Kaito and me together benefit you? I see the way you look at him. You'd like nothing more than to split us up so you can have Kaito for yourself."

Saguru shook his head. "As I stated before, this is not about me. This is about Kaito. He loves you, and you make him happy when you're not off being a bloody workaholic and neglecting him. As you so kindly alluded, _you_ are the one that he wants to be with, and I…just want Kaito to be happy, so I told him I'd talk to you about how he's been feeling the past few months. I'm not doing this for my own benefit; it's for _him_."

Shinichi looked like he was about ready to fall over. "Kaito…asked you to…?"

Saguru shook his head again. "Kaito confided in me about how bad things have gotten between you two, and I promised him that I would talk to you and figure out a way to fix it."

Shinichi sat back down clumsily, half falling. Saguru followed suit, only more in control of his motor functions.

"What…exactly is there that's bad?" Shinichi gulped, using his hands to keep himself propped up. "We're fine. We're happy together."

"Part of the problem is that you're not being honest about your caseload. When you censor the types of cases you're working on for Kaito's sake, he doesn't grasp the true importance of your work. He thinks you're running off on some fraud case when you're really diffusing bombs or chasing down mass murders. He thinks you'd rather solve some white-collar crime than spend time with him, and it's messing with his head."

Shinichi's eyes widened, and he cursed under his breath.

Saguru continued: "Kaito has self-worth issues, and when you tell him you're cancelling plans with him to work on a rather run of the mill case, he starts thinking that he doesn't matter to you as much as work. He doesn't know how precious he is to you, Kudo. He doesn't know how much you love him, so you're going to have to _show_ him. _I_ know that he's the most important thing in your life, but you need to make sure that _he_ knows."

"How do you propose I do that?" Shinichi sighed, rifling his hand through his hair in frustration.

Saguru shrugged. "I don't think it's advisable to actually tell him when you're going off to chase dangerous serial killers, but I certainly believe it would help if you decreased the volume of cases you get involved with."

Shinichi opened his mouth to protest, but Hakuba cut him off. "No. Kudo, you are not the only officer on the force. We have an entire police department with whole divisions staffed with officers who are not you. Tokyo will not fall to vice and ruin if you are not involved in every single case. What is more important: solving cases or Kaito?"

"Kaito," Shinichi answered automatically.

"Then I suggest you decrease your workload, make time for your boyfriend, and stop cancelling on him unless it is truly a matter of life or death. You and Kaito can discuss what qualifies. He understands that you are the best in your field and that your job is akin to that of a doctor or some other first responder, so there will be times when you really do need to leave. He has no problem if it's truly an emergency, but you've been abusing your privilege far too often recently."

Shinichi closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. "Okay. All right. I'll…figure something out."

"He just needs to know that he's your priority," Hakuba added gently. "For the longest time he thought that his life meant less than some possibly entirely mythical gemstone, just to give you some perspective on how messed up his mind is. You can imagine how easily he might substitute your job for Pandora in that equation. We need to work on retraining him."

Shinichi nodded, and his eyes shot open filled with determination. "Okay. I'm gonna go home and…hopefully fix this."

Saguru nodded encouragingly. "It's not the end of the world, Kudo. The real issue was that you had no idea there was an issue. Things will be fine now that you know to be aware of how and when and why you leave Kaito for work. You two will be fine with a little effort, so don't worry about it too much."

"Thanks, Hakuba," Shinichi chuckled sheepishly as he got to his feet. "Sorry again for…" He made a vague, all-encompassing motion with his arms.

Hakuba waved away the apology as he too stood. "Don't worry about it. I've endured worse, and I know it's on account of your sleeping at your desk after staying up all night working on a dismemberment case."

Shinichi blushed. "It doesn't sound as good as it did in my head when someone else says it out loud."

Saguru shrugged. "Well, you did sleep at your desk after—"

"—Please stop," Shinichi groaned. "Though, I probably deserve it after the things I said to you."

"Don't worry about me," Hakuba repeated firmly. "Just make Kaito happy."

"I will," Shinichi swore before picking up his empty bento and turning to go.

When he got to the door, he paused and turned back to study the other detective. "Hakuba?"

Saguru frowned. "Yes?"

"You sure spend a lot of time and energy worry about other people…." Shinichi bit his lip, not sure if he should ask, if he wanted to know the answer. "…You have someone who worries about _you_ , right?"

Saying "I did" would not get Kudo off of that roof and home to Kaito any quicker, so, instead, Saguru pasted on a pleasant, almost Siamese cat smile. "Kaito's at home waiting for you," he reminded.

Shinichi wavered in the doorway for nearly ten seconds, but he ultimately lost his nerve. He nodded, tossing one last "Thanks!" over his shoulder as he raced down the steps.

…

Mikau: So, I'm kind of thinking I want to do a prequel fic with how Shinichi and Kaito met up again after Conan and KID, really turned each other's worlds upside down, and eventually started dating. Hakuba will, of course, be featured, and I want to have Aoko show up to help Kaito sort out his love life. Would you guys like that, a prequel? Thanks for reading!


	3. The Solution

Mikau: Hi guys! Welcome to chapter three. I think this is the one all of you KaiShin fans have been waiting for. As a reward for your patience in wading through two chapters of setup and plot, I've included plenty of fluffy, spicy, and bittersweet scenes between the couple. Also more plot. And guess what? There's going to be a chapter four resolving things between Hakuba and Kaito and Shinichi, so look forward to that probably next week. And now, on with the show.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, they wouldn't get around to actually solving the crimes on screen very often. I'd use up all of my pages/airtime on character interaction and relationship drama.

…

Chapter Three: The Solution

"Your boyfriend is on his way home," read the text. "Everything is going to be fine, Kai. Go easy on him, and try not to lose your head."

" _Easier said than done,"_ Kaito thought.

He typed, "So you didn't challenge him to a duel after all?"

"It wouldn't have helped," Hakuba replied after a noticeable pause.

"Right," Kaito snickered. He sent a mini barrage of short sentences: "But you wanted to." "Thanks for always having my back." "It's good to know you're willing to beat up my boyfriend for me." "You're a good friend." and added a little heart at the end. He imagined Saguru blushing at that.

He could see Saguru typing and then stopping and erasing before typing again. Finally, the chat fell silent, and Kaito could tell that his friend was seriously flustered. Dealing with Shinichi must have been more discombobulating than Kaito had originally thought.

Throwing Saguru a line, Kaito typed, "I'll always be there for you when you need me too." with a winking emot.

"Thank you, Kaito," Saguru replied.

Kaito went back to his cooking binge while he waited for his boyfriend to get home. The half an hour seemed to go by in a flash, and then Shinichi was coming through the front door, calling, "I'm home!"

"Welcome home! In the kitchen!" Kaito returned as he pulled the muffins out of the oven, setting them aside to cool before beginning to frost the cake.

He didn't turn around as Shinichi came up behind him.

"Hey," Shinichi greeted awkwardly.

"Hey." Kaito tried not to visibly tense, but he could feel the anxiety kicking in. He didn't want to do this. He wanted to run up to his room and lock himself in and not deal with this ever.

He wished he could pull out a deck to shuffle to relieve some of the anxiety, but that would tip his hand to Shinichi who was familiar with Kaito's ticks and what they meant. Telegraphing his stress would do little to help the situation.

Shinichi wrapped his arms around Kaito from behind, and the tension melted. Kaito melted, tipping his head back to rest on Shinichi's shoulder as Shinichi burrowed into the crook of Kaito's neck, placing a soft kiss at the base.

"I know you're upset with me," Shinichi whispered, lips tickling Kaito as they brushed against his skin. "And that's okay because I kind of deserve it. I really dropped the ball, especially last night, and I'm sorry, Kaito. I'm so, so sorry. If you'll let me, I want to try to make things right between us, but you're going to have to talk to me."

Shinichi's embrace tightened. "You can't just keep it all bottled up. I know you have your therapist to talk things out with, but I need to be kept in the loop too. I had no idea we had a problem until Hakuba told me today. That poor guy. I didn't believe him at first. I was kind of a real jerk, but I thought we were fine. I had no idea that I was so close to losing you, and that's _terrifying_ for me, Kaito."

Shinichi moved up to Kaito's ear, placing a kiss at the junction of ear and jaw. "You have to talk to me about things, Kaito. You can't go on thinking I'm cheating on you for a year and a half without saying something, okay? I'm going to try to do better, but I need you to do better too. I can't improve our communication as a couple all by myself…so it's kind of ironic that I'm the one that's been doing all of the talking. I know you're still mad, but _you_ say something now."

There was a noticeable silence for nearly twenty seconds, and Shinichi was beginning to feel extremely nervous when Kaito tilted his head so that he caught the corner of Shinichi's eye.

"Bed," he whispered. "Take me to bed, and then we can talk."

A shiver ran from tip to tip down Shinichi's spine. This was going better than expected.

"I feel like we're all out of sync," Kaito continued, and Shinichi hung on every word. "I think it'll help to get physically in sync and maybe work some of the stress and bad feelings between us out in the process. Then, during cuddle time, we can talk about what we need to do going forward."

"I like that plan," Shinichi hummed as Kaito turned to peck him on the lips.

Pulling back, Kaito's self-satisfied smirk turned into a frown. "You were wearing that at dinner. Did you not change when you came home last night?"

Shinichi blinked. "I didn't come home last night. I slept at the station and just got home now…. Did you not notice when you got home from dinner?"

"I didn't come home last night either."

Shinichi's confusion morphed into concern. "Then where did you sleep?"

Kaito shrugged and chuckled, "Don't look so worried. I was at Haku-chan's. I didn't want to come back here by myself only to have a fight with you when you dragged yourself in at some ungodly hour of the morning, so I went over to Haku-chan's. We played board games until, like, three-thirty and we were ready to pass out."

To Kaito's surprise, this news did not make the furrows in Shinichi's brow soften. "What's wrong?"

Shinichi bit his lip. It wasn't like he could just out and say, "I think your best friend is secretly plotting to steal you from me. I know you haven't noticed, but he's been pining after you for the past ten years. Sorry for making things forever awkward between you and one of your lifelines".

Shinichi decided instead to tell a truth that Kaito could deal with, "I was really vicious with Hakuba today. I took some low blows, and I'm kind of worried about him. You do know that that guy isn't okay, right?"

Kaito nodded solemnly. "He's been bad since he lost Baaya. He's so busy worrying about others, but he doesn't take care of himself. I'm going to do a better job of taking care of him from now on."

Shinichi chewed nervously on the inside of his cheek. "Yeah. I think you and I need to work on that, but let's get ourselves straightened out first. What was that quote? Remove the splinter from your own eye before you try to take the one out of your neighbor's?"

Kaito nodded his assent. "To bed, then," he cheered like it was a battle cry.

Shinichi blushed and scratched at his cheek. "I think I need a shower first. I'm sure I smell fabulous wearing this suit going on twenty hours."

"I'll join you," Kaito purred, and Shinichi was reminded of one of the many reasons he loved his boyfriend.

…

"I _love_ you," Shinichi sighed blissfully as he rolled over onto his back. "God, I love you. You have the best ideas and the most perfect ass, and did I mention that I love you?"

"Shut. Up," Kaito giggled, snuggling up to Shinichi and burrowing his face into Shinichi's neck. "Though, I am kind of partial to your soccer butt." Kaito gave the appendage an appreciative stroke.

"I love you," Shinichi repeated, kissing a tuft of Kaito's messy, still damp hair.

"You're only saying that because of the endorphins," Kaito teased. "I could be anyone."

"I don't think just anyone has the stamina and flexibility to do half the things you do," Shinichi snorted.

"Point," Kaito conceded, starting to suck at Shinichi's collarbone.

"Are you giving me a hickey?" Shinichi chuckled.

"Kaitou are territorial. I'm leaving my mark," Kaito informed.

"Just—ow! Just one or two. I'm not a chew toy. I'm not letting you do a KID doodle again."

Kaito rolled on top of Shinichi, straddling his boyfriend and giving him a deadly serious look. "You're a chew toy, if I say you're a chew toy."

Shinichi inhaled sharply, a tingle of pleasure running down his spine. "Would it be too much trouble for you to pin my wrists above my head and say that again?"

Kaito giggled, breaking character for a moment. "Naughty boy, Shinichi." He took a breath to compose himself and exhaled, back in character with his steely eyed stare. He pinned Shinichi's wrists with one hand and used the other to trail a finger slowly along Shinichi's jaw and down his neck. "You're a chew toy, if I say you're a chew toy," Kaito menaced, leaning in to nip where he knew it would hurt just the right amount.

"Can we just stay in bed forever?" Shinichi whimpered.

"I wish," Kaito sighed, finishing a third hickey. He looked down at Shinichi and whistled appreciatively. "You are insatiable, you know that? You're gorgeous, and I'd love to spend the rest of our lives in bed together, but we're never going to get things straightened out between us, if we just roll around in bed the whole time."

"Twenty more minutes," Shinichi begged, pupils the size of marbles.

Kaito considered. "I think I'm good for now, but I can have you feeling totally blissed out in ten minutes. We can cuddle for a bit while you get your head on straight again, and then we'll talk. Deal?" Kaito licked his lips.

Shinichi shivered. He _loved_ that tongue. "Deal."

…

"Are you with me?" Kaito chuckled.

Shinichi's eyes flickered open, and he inhaled deeply. "Yeah. Sorry. What were you saying?"

Kaito shook his head. "Nothing. You fell asleep during cuddle time."

And it looked like Kaito had taken advantage of that time to clean them both up and take another shower. He'd even managed to somehow change the sheets with Shinichi still in the bed. Magicians.

"You were out cold."

Apparently because Shinichi was now wearing boxers and one of the t-shirts he normally slept in, and he hadn't changed into them himself.

"Sorry." Shinichi sat up, riffling a hand through his already suggestively tussled hair. "Rough night. I slept at my desk, and it wasn't exactly the most restful sleep."

"That arson case?" Kaito's brow furrowed, and he sounded a little surprised.

Shinichi grimaced. "I…talked to Hakuba about this, but…I probably need to be a little more honest about the types of cases I cancel our dates for."

Kaito's frown deepened. "Meaning?"

"I did…at some point…work on an arson case last night, but the reason I was called away is because a third victim was found in one of my serial murder cases. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry," Shinichi explained.

Kaito took a minute to process, various parts of the confession hitting him at different times. "The third victim. As in you've been working on this case for a while now, or the victims come in one after the other pretty quickly or…did you say _one of_ ' your serial murder cases? As in you're working on more than one? You never _mentioned_ —"

Shinichi reached out and took Kaito's hand. "—Kaito, I don't usually _mention_ because I don't want you staying up waiting for me every night, worrying about whether or not I'm going to come home."

"Do I _need_ to be worrying every night about whether or not you're going to come home?" Kaito squeaked.

" _No_ ," Shinichi stressed. "Absolutely not. There is zero need for that. The number of dangerous cases I work on is very small."

"You said 'dates', as in multiple dates that you've canceled that you needed to be more honest about," Kaito countered tersely, breathing shallow. "Shinichi, you cancel an awful lot of dates for things like bank robberies and fraud cases and one-off murders. How concerned do I need to be that you're in massive amounts of danger every day and you're just not telling me?"

Shinichi grabbed Kaito's other hand and squeezed them both. "Honey, calm down. On a day to day basis, the amount of actual danger I'm in is very slight. I'm safer now than when I was Conan or even teenage Kudo Shinichi. I'm not going it alone anymore. I'm in a fully-functional adult body. I have resources and backup, and very rarely am I the only target out there. You don't need to freak out."

"How am I supposed to know whether I should be freaking out, if you lie and tell me you're going to solve an arson case when you're really chasing after dangerous serial killers?" Kaito struggled to get his jaw to unclench.

Shinichi gently began to rub his thumbs in circles on Kaito's palms. "Because I'm going to start being more honest with you."

Kaito pursed his lips. "'More honest'? You're not going to just be 'honest' with me? I mean, if you lie to me all the time now, 'more honest' could just be lying to me half of the time instead. 'More honest' doesn't mean much with your track record, Shinichi. I'm sorry."

Shinichi sighed, nodding in acknowledgement. "Yeah, okay. That's okay. I deserve that. All I can say is that I promise that I'm going to try. You're just going to have to trust me…or call Hakuba or Takagi-keibu, if you're really concerned. But I'm going to be taking on fewer cases going forward, so…"

Kaito blinked, not sure that he had heard right. "Really?"

"Yeah. Hakuba informed me that I'm not the only police officer in Tokyo, so it looks like I don't have to take on all of the cases by myself after all," Shinichi grumbled, chastised. "So, I'm not going to be taking as many extras, unless it's really and truly an emergency. Hakuba said that you and I should decide together what constitutes 'an emergency'."

Kaito nodded, mouth open slightly in shock. He couldn't believe that this was actually happening. "Really, Shinichi?"

"Yeah. I mean, I've been under the impression that I was it, so I've been doing all the work myself for the past few years, but apparently we have an entire HQ full of other officers, and there are even divisions that handle particular types of crimes, so…"

"Shinichi," Kaito chuckled, giving Shinichi's hands a fond squeeze. "I know your work is really important to you, so I really want to thank you for dialing it down for me. You don't know how much I appreciate it."

"Kaito…that's not…" Shinichi bit his lip, trying to convert his thoughts into words. "I enjoy the mental challenges that the cases present, and while the work is important on a city-wide level, the reason why I take every case that comes my way isn't because it's important to _me_. I'm…monitoring the criminal activity."

Kaito's eyes widened. "Because of _Them_? I thought they were wiped out six or seven years ago. I thought you said that things were safe now."

"They are. Don't worry." Shinichi rushed to reassure, smiling to try to give credence to his point. "Everything's fine, Kaito. We're all safe. I just…I'm a little paranoid. I feel like I have to…you know…check all of the cases to make sure there's no little vestige of _Them_ left waiting to poke its head out. There hasn't been while I've been monitoring, but…"

"You're still worried that there might be, and you're afraid that you'll miss it, if you don't keep on top of everything," Kaito finished, finally understanding. "Your workaholic tendencies are starting to make a lot more sense. Haku-chan was right. It's not me at all. It really is all in your head."

"Way to make me sound psychotic, Honey," Shinichi sighed.

Kaito scooted over on the bed to snuggle up next to Shinichi, wrapping an arm loosely around him. "You say that like psychotic is a bad thing. I happen to consider myself to be psychotic, thank you…. Besides, I love you, Shinichi," Kaito whispered, ghosting a kiss against Shinichi's jaw.

There was a moment of cozy silence before Kaito ventured to ask, "Do they have someone at work you can talk to about everything? Talking to my therapist has really helped me. If you don't want to go through work, maybe you could see someone with a private practice, but I bet the police have someone who specializes in cop issues like murder and criminal organizations and paranoia. I bet they have someone special for the officers who do undercover work. I mean, you don't _have_ to, but…do you think you could benefit from something like that?"

Shinichi's first instinct was to say no and insist that he was fine, but then he considered how he had thought that he and Kaito were fine earlier that day. "I'm skeptical, but scheduling one session couldn't hurt anything. I'm their best cop. Even if they do determine that I'm mentally unstable, they're not going to fire me."

Kaito leaned in and placed another light kiss on Shinichi's jaw. "I'm proud of you, Shinichi. Thank you for making a conscious effort."

Shinichi nodded. "I'd do anything to keep you with me. I literally cannot afford to mess things up and lose you. It _would_ kill me or get me killed one way or another."

"I'm not going anywhere," Kaito whispered into Shinichi's neck.

"You'd better not. At least not without properly discussing it with me first. Speaking of which, we talked about what I'm going to do better for the sake of this relationship—be more honest when I need to cancel and decrease my workload in the first place—but what about you? Are you going to talk to me when there are problems in the future, or am I going to have to wait to hear about all the ways I've been screwing up for two years from Hakuba at the last minute when it's already almost too late?"

Kaito winced. "That's fair. I…didn't know how to talk to you about everything."

"Did you try? I'm asking you honestly, Kaito," Shinichi gently inquired, trying not to sound accusatory. "Did you _try_?"

Kaito bit his lip and considered. "No? I mean, I thought about trying to talk to you about it, but then…I just…"

"You just covered it up with that poker face of yours," Shinichi sighed, finishing the sentence. "I'm your boyfriend, Kaito, and I am desperately in love with you. We're supposed to be a team. If you had just tried, we could have figured it out together. Even if you had just said 'There's something I'm not happy about' or 'It makes me sad when you leave me like that', we could have talked it out, and then you wouldn't have had to suffer all this time," Shinichi stressed, exasperated.

But then he bit his tongue, realizing that he sounded like he was scolding Kaito. "You do understand that I'm not mad at you about it, right? I'm not blaming you. I'm not mad _at_ you; I'm mad _for_ you. I'm upset with myself that I didn't realize…I…"

Kaito sat up to look Shinichi in the eye as he explained, "The problem was more that I didn't know that I was allowed to say anything…if that makes any sense. I know it probably sounds dumb, but…for a long time, I didn't know that what I felt and what I wanted mattered. I'm just now at twenty-six years old trying to relearn that my thoughts and feelings are important and that it's okay to have them and act upon them. I'm kind of messed up, and there are pieces missing, but… Sorry. Bear with me?"

Shinichi answered with a kiss. "Kuroba Kaito, you are perfect exactly the way you are right now."

A slow smile inched its way across Kaito's face, and he wrapped his arms around Shinichi. "I love you so much. I promise that I'm going to try hard too. I'll do better with communicating."

Shinichi nuzzled Kaito's hair. "I love you too. We'll be okay, Kaito. We'll make things better as a team."

They lay down again and cuddled for a while, just enjoying the warmth of one another, chitchatting about nonsense, and luxuriating in languid kisses.

Half an hour later, a thought struck Shinichi. "I never gave you your anniversary present."

Kaito's ears perked up with interest. "You got me a present? You didn't have to do that."

Shinichi rolled his eyes, grinning. "You're only saying that because you feel obligated to say that."

Kaito shrugged, returning the grin. "Guilty as charged. What did you get me?"

Shinichi disentangled himself from Kaito's limbs and the covers to pad over to where his suit jacket from the night before was hanging on the closet door. He pulled a jewelry box out of the pocket and sheepishly made his way back over to the bed.

Kaito's eyes widened, partially in fear and partially in excitement. "What is _that_?"

"What you think it is." Shinichi chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I was going to give it to you at the restaurant. I think I've mentioned that Arsène's is where my parents got engaged, but…I know this really isn't ideal with me in my boxers and all, but I really did still want to give this to you, and…did you want me to get down on one knee?"

Kaito shook his head as tears began to well at the corners of his eyes. He motioned for Shinichi to come to him because he didn't trust his voice.

Shinichi obeyed, sitting back down on the bed beside his boyfriend as Kaito half tackled him, burying his face in Shinichi's neck.

Shinichi wrapped his arms around Kaito as Kaito began to tremble and squeeze Shinichi hard.

"I know it's not legal in Japan, but the minute it is, I want to marry you. Invite all our friends and make it official. Until then, I was thinking maybe we could go get married in France or England or the US. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and—"

"—Shinichi," Kaito interrupted, pulling back to wipe his eyes and face Shinichi. "I _want_ this." He indicated the ring box and Shinichi. "I really, really, really want this. I want to spend my life with you too, and I do want to marry you and have the ceremony and make it official—"

"—But?" Shinichi asked, seeing where this was going.

Kaito shook his head and swiped at his eyes again as they got watery. "I can't accept the ring right now."

Shinichi bit his lip and nodded slowly, taking even breaths to keep his thoughts from spiraling out of control before they could rationally talk this out. "Okay. But you _will_ someday? This isn't a no; this is a not yet?"

"Yes," Kaito clarified. "Yesterday I was seriously considering the possibility of you cheating on me and me breaking up with you. How ridiculous would it be for me to today promise to commit the rest of my life to you? I don't think that's indicative of a healthy relationship."

Shinichi continued nodding as understanding came to him.

"If I take the ring now, I'll be tempted to pretend that everything's fine when it's not. We've got a lot of work to do together before we get to happily ever after, and I don't want to get complacent. So even though I really want to accept that ring, I know that I really shouldn't until we're in a better place as a couple." Kaito bit his lip and met Shinichi's disappointed gaze with sorrowful eyes. "I'm sorry, Shinichi."

"Don't be," Shinichi insisted, forcing a smile for Kaito's sake. "I asked you to share your thoughts and feelings with me, and you did. Honestly, I'm really bummed out, but if that's how you feel, waiting is the right decision."

Shinichi opened the ring box, taking out the silver band and sliding it onto his own finger. "Let's wait another year before we talk about getting engaged. We'll wait and work hard, and on our next anniversary, I'll take you to Arsène's—and I _won't_ run off on a case—and we can see how we're doing as a couple and decide if we're ready to take the next step. Until then, _I'll_ wear the ring as a reminder of my promises to you."

Kaito leaned in for a slow kiss. "Thank you for really making an effort on this, Shinichi. I'm so lucky I found you."

"Thank me when I keep my promise to work less and not cancel dates," Shinichi hummed softly. "I'm lucky you found me."

…

Mikau: Everybody say, "Awww". Precious babies. They'll be okay. We'll work on Hakuba next chapter. I look forward to seeing you all again then. Thanks for reading!


	4. The Aftermath Part One

Mikau: Hello friends! So, you'll note that the chapter title includes a "Part One" at the end. Yes, we will be having a Chapter Five. ^.^; The scene between Kaito and Shinichi went on so long that I thought it would be better to split the chapter into two, so here you go. You've got another KaiShin chapter. I've edited it so many times that I'm sick of it, but I'm happier with it than I was with Chapter Three. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, the animation budget could be substantially decreased because my characters tend to stand/sit/lie around and talk a lot. Not much action, just drama, drama, drama.

…

Chapter Four: The Aftermath Part One

More nuzzling and easy kisses ensued until the clock struck six.

Kaito paused to count the chimes. "Geez. I haven't even started dinner yet."

"We can order out occasionally." Shinichi pulled Kaito back down. "It's not going to mar your spotless record as a domestic god."

"You're sure?" Kaito raised an eyebrow as he propped himself up on his boyfriend's chest. "Years down the line when we're married, you're not going to tease me mercilessly 'Remember that one time the day after our anniversary when I spent the night at the station working on a serial killer case only to come home to no dinner on the table?'"

Shinichi playfully blew on Kaito's bangs. "No. You know I don't embrace traditional gender roles in relationships. I would never hold your failure to provide me with a nutritional meal so that I can go to work to support us against you."

"Oh, good," Kaito chuckled, playing with Shinichi's cowlick. "That's good to know because I don't intend to end up your little housewife. I work too, you know, and I'm quite successful."

"Yeah, I know. No," Shinichi sighed happily. "Just be Kaito. That's good enough as is."

Kaito leaned in for a peck before rolling off and lazily getting to his feet with a stretch (making his shirt hem ride up so that it showcased his lovely hipbone for Shinichi's benefit). "I want Chinese. Yes?"

"That's fine. Whatever you want, Honey." Shinichi arched his back and slowly sat up.

Kaito went over to the nightstand on the other side of the bed for his phone, adding "I'm gonna call Haku-chan too and see if he can come over to join us or if he's eaten yet."

Shinichi tensed. "Maybe not tonight, Kaito?"

Kaito froze in place and looked up from his phone. "Why not?"

Shinichi shifted uncomfortably. "I…just want it to be the two of us."

Kaito's eyebrow arched. "For a romantic dinner of take away Chinese food? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Shinichi assured, scrambling for a valid excuse that wasn't the truth. "I just want to spend time with you alone."

"We spent the past few hours in bed alone, and we can spend a few more this evening after Haku-chan leaves, but I'd really like to have him over for dinner to make sure that he eats a decent meal," Kaito stressed. "He's not in a good place lately, like you yourself noted earlier, and, like I said before, I need to start taking better care of him. He always bends over backwards for me, and I'm going to go out of my way to look out for him too from now on. I've taken him for granted long enough."

Shinichi grimaced, imagining how Hakuba would enjoy Kaito's attentions while Kaito fawned over him, never suspecting Hakuba's ulterior motives. He shook his head to banish the image. He knew he was being ridiculous—perfect, angelic Hakuba wasn't like that—and Shinichi was ashamed of how he was letting his imagination have free reign.

" _Get your rampant paranoia under control, Kudo, before it wrecks your relationship."_

"What?" Kaito insisted. "What is it?"

"I just…" Shinichi started out strong, but he ended in a sulky, guilty mumble. "I'm a little jealous. I wish you wouldn't spend so much time and energy on Hakuba. That's all. Is it wrong to want you all for myself? _I'm_ your boyfriend, not him…. I know I'm being stupendously childish, but _that's_ what the problem is. Am I completely awful?"

" _No_." Kaito put his hands on his hips and shook his head. "Not awful. Just unfair. Shinichi, I never say a word to you about Hattori or Ran."

"To my face," Shinichi grumbled. "I'm sure you and Hakuba have a field day with Hattori in particular behind my back."

"Of course, because that's the appropriate forum." Kaito rolled his eyes. "You're just tired and hungry, and it's making you grumpy. I'm going to do you the favor of ignoring your unreasonableness because I know you've had a rough day. Now, I'm calling in Chinese, and I'm going to have Haku-chan come over to join us because I'm seriously worried about him, and we _owe_ him for what he did for us today."

"I don't want to see him because we had a fight," Shinichi quickly interjected before Kaito could go back to dialing the number.

"A fight?" Kaito echoed.

Shinichi's ears burned with shame at the memory of the rooftop. He knew that he in particular owed Hakuba big time—a massive apology for the venomous things he'd said, an even bigger thank you for saving his sorry hide from losing Kaito…

"When he was trying to tell me how I was messing things up with you. I mentioned it in passing earlier, but I said some pretty nasty things…took a lot of low blows because I thought he was lying, trying to get us to turn on one another and break us up. I did apologize when I realized I was in the wrong, but…he probably doesn't want to see me either. I know he needs help," Shinichi quickly added. "And we can have him over tomorrow, and I swear I won't be such a hypocrite and make a big deal of it, but tonight—"

"—Why in the world would Hakuba make all that stuff up and try to break us up?" Kaito interrupted because the idea was just so ludicrous to him. He sat back down on his side of the bed and gazed intently at his boyfriend.

Shinichi broke eye contact, looking away with a shrug. "I don't know. I was worn out and angry and really just not at my best. It was stupid."

Kaito didn't need to know that Shinichi's seemingly outlandish fears had root in logic. Shinichi would _not_ ruin Kaito and Hakuba's relationship. Even if he could be petty at times, Shinichi loved Kaito too much to damage or warp that relationship.

"Shinichi," Kaito sighed, crossing his arms. "What happened to being more honest? If I have to talk about my feelings, you do too."

Shinichi bit his lip and considered. How to explain things to Kaito so that Shinichi didn't look like such a crazy, over-controlling boyfriend without outing Hakuba? "Because he's jealous too when it comes to you. You two have been close for years, before you and I really knew each other outside of Conan and KID. He's jealous because I take up so much of your time that used to be his, and he's jealous of how close you and I are…."

Shinichi played absentmindedly with the hem of the sheet, looking down at the cream fabric so that he wouldn't have to see the disappointment on Kaito's face. "…and I'm jealous because I think he's trying to steal you away from me, so…thus the fight and me saying vicious things. I don't think straight when it's about you, so I kind of went for the throat. I'm sorry about it now, but…maybe you need to go see Hakuba by yourself first and make sure he's okay before he and I meet up again."

Kaito sat staring at Shinichi in silence for a moment before he found the words to respond. He couldn't say things like, "I would never let myself be stolen" or "I would never have an affair" because they weren't true. Hadn't Kaito been considering it the night before? Hadn't Kaito _told_ Saguru that he was the only one Kaito would leave Shinichi for?

It wasn't like Kaito could say, "You have nothing to worry about", so instead he tried to assuage Shinichi's insecurities with the truth: "Shinichi, I can personally assure you that Haku-chan has no nefarious scheme to split us up so he can steal me away to cook for him and play Cluedo and chess for the rest of my natural existence."

Shinichi bit his lip.

Kaito frowned. "You don't believe me?"

"It does sound dumb and paranoid when you put it that way," Shinichi confessed. "Okay. He may not be plotting against me outright, but he's so…good and perfect and selfless and attentive to you that I worry that I don't look like such a good choice in comparison."

"He's not perfect," Kaito sighed raking his fingers through his hair. "He only makes himself seem that way. It's a defense mechanism he developed to try to get his parents to love him…or at least not mind having him around so much. If he's perfect and does everything right, he thinks people will love him and he won't be a bother. He's not actually perfect on the inside, and I would never think of holding you up to the standards he holds himself. It's not healthy—heck, it's not even humanly possible. Besides, if I were his boyfriend and he had to deal with me all the time, he'd snap and stop being so 'perfect' before too long. Don't worry. I have reasonable expectations."

"Right. Okay," Shinichi answered in an undertone. "Sorry."

Kaito's brow pinched together as Shinichi sighed and started rubbing at his temples. "You're still stressing out about this. What can I say to get you to stop?"

"I think this is a _me_ problem, Kaito." Shinichi finally looked up, eyes lackluster and hints of bags beginning to materialize underneath them. "I know this is ridiculous, but I've always viewed Hakuba as my love rival. It's a little hard to let go of the insecurity, jealousy, and paranoia all at once, even if I know you two are just weirdly co-dependent friends. I know he's not a bad guy, and I know he has problems and you two need each other and everything, but it's hard to trust a guy you don't trust with the most important person in your life."

Kaito chuckled as he leaned in to kiss Shinichi's cheek. "That's sweet. Completely insecure and paranoid, but sweet…except, don't you trust Haku-chan on a regular basis with your own life at work?"

"Yeah, but that's different," Shinichi explained. "Hakuba's a good cop, and we work well together. I don't hate the guy. I mean, sometimes I kind of like him. Sometimes we kind of feel like friends, but…my life is one thing; you are something completely different."

Kaito shook his head. "If you'll forgive me, I'm not even going to try to understand."

"It's probably better if you don't," Shinichi agreed. "…Are we okay now?"

Kaito thought about it for a minute. "Probably. You don't hate my best friend?"

"Not entirely." Shinichi shrugged.

"And you're not going to try to keep me from hanging out with him?"

"No."

"And you're not opposed to having him over for dinner more often and taking him a lunch to work and my generally worrying about and fussing over him?" Kaito pressed.

Shinichi didn't reply immediately, but after a minute he inhaled deeply and took Kaito by the hands. "I've decided that even if I don't trust Hakuba, I'm going to trust you because that's what healthy couples do, right?"

"Right," Kaito whispered, feeling the weight of that trust. "Then we're okay now. For now anyway."

Shinichi nodded, cracking a small, tentative smile. "For now is good enough. …So, why don't you go ahead and call in the Chinese food? I am starting to get hungry. Order some for Hakuba too and have it sent to his place. I'll pay for all of it when they deliver our order here."

A smile broke out on Kaito's face in response. "I appreciate you making an effort."

Shinichi shrugged. "We do owe the guy."

…

The remainder of the evening continued rather smoothly, especially considering the tempestuous rest of the day. Kaito and Shinichi ate their Chinese food at the kitchen table and were able to keep the conversation going almost effortlessly on light subjects.

Kaito got a text during the meal from Hakuba asking, "Did you send me Chinese food?" to which Kaito replied, "Sort of? Shinichi was the one who suggested and paid for it, but I was the one who placed the order."

"Thank you. Please tell Kudo thank you from me as well. I have to admit, for a minute there I was concerned that the food might be poisoned and sent in an attempt to get me out of the way," Saguru confessed.

"Turn your detective brain off and enjoy your free dinner," Kaito commanded, rolling his eyes.

"In his defence, I would have thought the same thing," Shinichi chuckled when Kaito reported the incident.

"Detectives," Kaito sighed, slurping up his chow mein noodles.

"Magicians," Shinichi echoed, giving Kaito's foot a playful nudge under the table.

Kaito nudged back, and before they knew it they were playing footsies and ended up with one of their feet wrapped around the other's ankle.

It wasn't until they had been snuggling on the couch, each reading his respective book, for almost half an hour after dinner, that a question that had been wriggling around in the back of Kaito's mind came to the surface and had to be voiced.

"Shinichi, earlier you mentioned that you had always thought of Haku-chan as a love rival."

Shinichi stiffened. Kaito could feel it because he was pressed up against Shinichi's side at the time.

"Is there a reason why?" Kaito finished.

Shinichi shifted uncomfortably, mind racing. "…No. Not any logical reason, anyway. I think…maybe it started when I first ran into you guys and met you as Kuroba Kaito. I thought something was going on between you and Hakuba, but that was probably because I wasn't used to the way you guys interact. You guys are a lot more physical than normal friends, especially here in Japan. I mean, the night we met, I saw you jump off a table into his arms and smooch him in front of everybody."

Kaito winced. "To be fair, I was a little drunk because of the whole Baaya thing. But I kind of get what you're saying. You and Hattori make me antsy sometimes because he throws all of the normal social mores out the window when it comes to you, and I still occasionally wonder if you've got some remaining incestuous feelings for Ran clinging on."

"You know it's not like that." Shinichi gently elbowed Kaito in the side.

"Right," Kaito chuckled. "My _head_ knows, but that doesn't stop my heart from worrying about it from time to time. Is that what it's like for you with Hakuba?"

Shinichi nodded. "Only worse. I can't get myself to stop thinking of Hakuba as a genuine threat. It was about a year or two before I really understood you and Hakuba. The whole time I worried that maybe you were making out with him too and this was just how you were with people. It wasn't until you told me that you had never slept with a guy before and I could _tell_ it was your first time that I knew for sure."

"Geez." Kaito pulled back to study Shinichi's quickly reddening face. "You have just about as many insecurities about this relationship as I do! I thought you said that you thought you and I were fine?"

Shinichi shrugged, chewing nervously on his lip. "I mean…my problem is just Hakuba. I know you wouldn't run off behind my back with just anyone."

"What about Aoko?" Kaito asked out of pure curiosity.

Shinichi replied with a deadpan expression, "Aoko is married with two kids and a third on the way."

"Married people have affairs." Kaito shrugged.

"Aoko is happily married and so over you for nearly ten years now." Shinichi easily dismissed the idea.

"So you don't worry when I spend days on end holed up with her for work, but you worry when I spend the night at Haku-chan's?" Kaito clarified, finding this all rather hard to wrap his head around.

Shinichi shrugged. "You and Aoko are far too busy with work to get up to anything. Besides, like I said before, she's not interested in you, _and_ her children both closely resemble her husband."

"They've even got Watanabe's nose, the poor kids," Kaito sighed. "…So you don't worry when I flirt with other men and women, but you worry when I spend time platonically with Hakuba?"

"Yes," Shinichi grumbled. "Being uncertain of the nature of your relationship with the guy for nearly two years kind of traumatized me. I've always seen him as my rival, and I get the feeling that if you were to leave me for someone else, it would be him. I don't know, Kaito…. Can we drop it?"

Shinichi looked at his boyfriend with pleading eyes. "Don't think about it too hard. I'm just being silly. I mean, it's not even like he's in love with you or anything, so there's no point in getting worked up about it. I'm just being ridiculous. It's all in my head, right?"

Kaito didn't answer right away.

It's not even like he's in love with you.

That sentence combined with their discussion of back when they'd just met and when they'd first slept with one another brought back the memory of a conversation he'd had with Aoko. He'd brushed it off at the time, but now, now that he really thought about it…

"Right," Kaito answered cheerily, just a beat too late. "Right. It's not like Haku-chan has those kinds of feelings for me, so what's the point of talking about it and worrying about it when it's all in your imagination in the first place?"

"…Right," Shinichi agreed a little hesitantly, noticing Kaito's pause. "Everything okay?"

"Peachy," Kaito chuckled.

Shinichi could tell that the smile was fake.

"I just remembered that there was something I needed to go talk to Aoko about. She sent me the script for the next chapter, and I just had some things I wanted to discuss before I start drawing the name. I think I mentioned that we get to do a color page this month too, so I wanted to get her opinion on something for that."

Shinichi frowned. "It can't wait until you go over there at your regular time tomorrow? It's eight-thirty. Aren't her kids getting ready for bed?"

"It's super important," Kaito insisted.

"And you can't call her?"

Kaito's innocent smile endured. "No. I have to go see her."

Shinichi stared down his boyfriend like a snake about to strike down a mouse. "This is about Hakuba, isn't it?"

Kaito didn't waver. "No. Why would you say that?"

"Because if it were about things between you and me, you'd be talking to Hakuba about it, since he's already involved in the situation. You'll tell her all about recent developments between us tomorrow when you see her for work, but, to my knowledge, there's nothing urgent that you need to talk to Aoko about concerning me." Shinichi began to tick his observations off on his fingers.

"It's near the beginning of the cycle for work, and your editor hasn't been breathing down your neck, so there is no work emergency that you need to go over to Aoko's house and risk waking her kids and drawing her ire for. If it were about the next chapter or the color page, you'd call or email her. So it's not about me, and it's not about work. What other urgent topic is there in your life? Hakuba," Shinichi concluded his deduction.

Kaito's smile dissipated. He pursed his lips. "This is what I get for dating a detective. Way to Sherlock Holmes me."

Shinichi shrugged. "Why is this something that you can't talk to me about, and why did you think you had to lie about it?"

Kaito grimaced. "I need to talk to her about something she said a few years ago. I blew it off at the time, but I think I was wrong, and I think I've made a huge mistake. I lied because you sounded like you didn't want to hear any more about Hakuba tonight, so…Sorry?"

"You haven't just realized that you're secretly in love with Hakuba and Aoko's been telling you so all this time, right?" Shinichi held his breath.

Kaito blinked. "What? No. This doesn't impact you…to the best of my knowledge. This is just about something Aoko said about Hakuba that I probably should have paid more attention to."

Seeing Shinichi's skeptical expression, Kaito leaned in and gave his boyfriend a relatively quick but deep kiss. Pulling back, he smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry. You and I are going to be okay so long as we both work hard at keeping our promises." He ran his fingers over the ring on Shinichi's as he looked Shinichi in the eye. "I wasn't lying when I said that I really, really, really wanted that ring and everything it represents someday. Hakuba isn't the only one that I have an irreplaceable bond with. You've been important to me ever since we met on that rooftop on April Fool's Day all those years ago."

Shinichi contemplated Kaito's words, mentally chewing and digesting them before he nodded and whispered, "Okay. I trust you." Shinichi leaned in, smiling into the kiss.

"Thanks," Kaito mumbled against Shinichi's lips. "I'll be back."

"Come back soon," Shinichi answered, giving Kaito a nuzzle before letting him go.


	5. The Aftermath Part Two

Mikau: So…this is not the last chapter. There's going to be a Chapter Six because I lack the ability to be succinct and stop writing already. So, yeah. This is the chapter where Kaito freaks out and everyone else has to remind him to breathe. There's Aoko in the first half and some cute KaiShin at the end. Chapter Six will be the return of Hakuba. For now, I hope you enjoy Chapter Five.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I could probably keep it going for twenty-five years too because, as previously discussed, I can't just wrap things up already for the life of me.

…

Chapter Five: The Aftermath Part Two

"I sent you the edited script last night like I promised," Aoko greeted, hands on hips as she opened the door. "What are you doing here? You know it's late for the kids."

"At least I texted you letting you know I was outside instead of ringing the doorbell?" Kaito offered. "By the way, it's good to see you too."

Aoko rolled her eyes. "I could have waited to see you until tomorrow."

"Am I interrupting something?" Kaito wondered. "You seem more…dragon-y than usual."

Aoko blinked, took a deep breath, and composed herself. "Sorry. Takashi was just telling me how he wants to quit his nice job at the bank to try to start his own business. He thinks he's an inventor. We spent all evening after he got home fighting about it because, successful manga writer though I am, what I make isn't enough to support us and this new baby on the way while he fiddles around pretending he's changing the world with his gadgets. I might still be fuming about it."

Kaito nodded in sympathy. "Do you need me to smack some sense into him, or have you already taken care of the smacking?"

"Oh, I tried, but the sense didn't penetrate his thick skull," Aoko snorted.

"Did he tell you not to get upset because of the baby?" Kaito surmised. Watanabe hadn't learned his lesson with the first two pregnancies, and he was still liable to tell Aoko to be careful because of the baby when she started to get worked up.

"Yes!" Aoko hissed, completely forgetting that she had two small children upstairs trying to sleep. "The nerve of him! If he didn't do crazy crap like this, I would have no reason to be upset, now would I?"

"I bet you could find something to be upset about," Kaito snickered. "You're really good at finding things to be upset about."

"Bakaito," Aoko spat, giving Kaito a halfhearted swat on the arm. "Why the hell are you on my porch? How was your anniversary? Did you get a chance to go over the script I sent you?"

Kaito winced. "In reverse order: No, I've had a kind of crappy day, so I haven't looked at the script yet. I'll do it tomorrow before I come over for work. The anniversary…not good in and of itself. Shinichi bailed on me for work again, and things were rough today, but we did a lot of talking, and I think we're working things out. We're better off for having a crisis and working through it. I'm here because I need to talk to you about Saguru."

Aoko nodded slowly, processing each answer. "Sorry about your crappy day. Glad things are getting straightened out with the boyfriend. What exactly about Saguru?"

Kaito pursed his lips. "I think we might have a situation, but before I lose my head over it, I need you to confirm that I'm oblivious and a horrible friend. I may need to sit down and or scream into a pillow. Can we have this conversation in your living room, or is that going to bother the kids?"

Aoko's eyes widened, and her lips slowly shaped themselves into a surprised "o". She looked up at the windows overhead. "Seeing as I've been yelling like my father directly under the boys' bedrooms, I'd say it would be better for them if we moved into the den." She motioned him inside after her, locking the door behind him.

Once they were both settled, facing each other on the couch, Kaito began with a deep breath.

"Remember a couple years ago when I had my sexuality crisis?"

"Yeah, seeing as that went on for several years. Which part of your sexuality crisis?" Aoko sighed unsympathetically. "The 'Aoko, I think I might like guys' part? The 'Aoko, I've discovered that I like making out with other men' part? The 'Oh my God, Aoko, I just realized that I want to sleep with other guys' part? I know I'm being insensitive, considering what a rough couple of years it was for you, but you have to admit that you were kind of neurotic about the whole coming to terms with being bi thing. It was exhausting."

"How do you think I felt?" Kaito grumbled.

He couldn't hold it against her, though. As much as she teased and complained about it now, she had been there for him every step along the way for _years_ as he came to accept his sexuality. She'd stayed up late with him, helping him ride out the panic. She'd woken up in the dead of night and come over to sit with him and listen to him talk…and talk and _talk_ until he calmed down. Never once had Aoko been too busy, even when he freaked out over the same things over and over again. She'd helped him get through it, practically pulling him out the other side when he was too much of a mess to do it on his own.

She'd kind of earned the right to be flippant about the whole ordeal. After all, it couldn't have been easy for her. She wasn't a professional. She had no training on how to handle the situation as her best friend careened wildly out of control. He was sure he had scared her on more than one occasion.

"I think you felt like you were in hell," Aoko answered gently, some of the maternal softness coming into her voice. "Like you were being punished and like everyone you cared about was going to abandon you and stop loving you. That's how I think you felt."

Kaito looked away, gazing at, but not really seeing, the pictures of the boys and Watanabe and Aoko hanging on the walls. "…I feel like I'm made of glass around you."

"I can't actually see through you, Bakaito," Aoko chuckled. "I remember your sexuality crisis vividly. What part of it did you need to talk to me about so urgently that it couldn't wait and you had to come over so late?"

Kaito blew out a slow breath, turning back to face Aoko. "The part where I came over and said, 'So remember how I told you I think I might be bi? Well, now I'm kind of sure. I accidentally slept with another guy'."

Aoko nodded in understanding. "I have mixed feelings about that day."

"At first you thought I'd slept with Saguru," Kaito reminded, a bit of an accusatory edge to his voice.

Aoko shrugged. "Yeah?"

" _Why_ did you think it was him?" Kaito worried his lip between his teeth as he waited for her response.

"You two had had enough sexual tension between you to strangle Godzilla since high school. If there was anyone you were accidentally going to end up sleeping with, the entire school's bet was Saguru," she snorted. "I'm still waiting for it to happen."

Kaito gulped. "Originally, when you thought it was Saguru, I laughed it off as ridiculous, but…" He lost his nerve as fear, worry, and panic flooded his system.

Kaito shook his head, chasing away the unproductive emotions. He closed his eyes and refocused. When he looked at her again, there was determination in his gaze. "Aoko, there was a reason you thought Saguru would sleep with me. What was it?"

Aoko frowned, tipping her head to the side. "Have you still not figured it out?"

Kaito flinched. "Aoko…"

"Have Kudo and Saguru still not said anything? Ever?" Her pitch rose to that annoyed tone she used to use for railing against KID.

Kaito answered her with a scared, pleading look.

"Unbelievable!" Aoko huffed, throwing her hands in the air and shaking her head as she looked up to heaven. "He told me he was going to tell you. He promised me years ago that he was going to confess, but he didn't, did he? He was upset about Baaya, and then he just let Kudo have you without a fight. He lost his nerve and he never said anything, and you've just been going around oblivious this entire time because you have no idea what a normal relationship looks like, do you?" Aoko accused in one breath.

"I think I'm going to pass out," Kaito whimpered, doubling over to put his head between his knees and struggling not to hyperventilate.

"You have no idea what true love looks like or how to have a normal friendship, so this whole time you've been—"

"—Please, stop," Kaito begged, voice shaky. He reached out a hand and blindly groped for Aoko's knee. His vision was beginning to be engulfed by black splotches.

Kaito's clammy touch and the strain in his voice were enough to jolt Aoko back into the moment.

When she realized what was happening, she gasped and cursed under her breath. "Panic attack?" she stated more than inquired as she dropped to her knees in front of him, grasping his hand in one of her own while she rested her other one on his cheek.

"Shh. Kaito. I'm sorry. I didn't…hey. Look at me. Kaito, focus. Breathe," she firmly instructed, stroking his face and hair, squeezing the hand that she held in hers. "Are you still with me?"

He nodded, but he was concentrating too hard on breathing to reply.

"That's good, Kaito. Just breathe," Aoko softly encouraged. "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay, alright? We can and _will_ fix this, okay?"

Kaito nodded and rested his forehead on her shoulder.

Aoko reached around to rest a hand on his back, beginning to rub soothing circles with her palm. "Shh," she whispered like she had done many times for her sons. "Shh. Just breathe. Everything's going to be alright."

They sat like that for a good ten minutes before Kaito could piece his thoughts together enough to speak. "Aoko, did Saguru _tell_ you that he had feelings for me, or…I need to know how much of this is real and how much is just you being a diehard fangirl and imagining that Saguru has feelings for me because you ship us."

Aoko's hand paused on Kaito's back for an instant before resuming its slow, almost hypnotic rounds. "Kaito, don't start panicking, but Saguru doesn't just 'have feelings' for you. He honest to goodness _loves_ you. As in _in love_ with you loves you—Don't shut down on me. Focus," she commanded as she heard his breath hitch.

He squeezed her hand tightly and reached up to grip her bicep with his free hand for support. "How…do you know that?" Kaito managed to gasp.

Aoko chewed on the inside of her cheek, considering before answering. "…It was our third year of high school. You had already bolted halfway through the day, but Saguru asked to talk to me after school. We went up to the roof, and he was all nervous and blushy, and, at first, I thought that he was going to confess to _me_. That was that point in time where I was giving up on you romantically, so I was thinking, 'What the hell? Why not?', and I was going to say yes just to branch out and give something new a try, but…"

Aoko wet her lips nervously, unsure of how Kaito would react. "…he asked me for permission to be in love with you. It was the most sweet, sincere thing, and it made me a little jealous, thinking how lucky you were that someone could feel like that about you."

Kaito slowly raised his head to stare at Aoko.

She watched as half a dozen emotions chased each other across his face before coming to a rest with "lost" and "sad" uppermost.

"Maybe…" Kaito ventured. "Maybe he doesn't feel that way anymore. Maybe, since he's gotten to know me better, he's changed his mind. Maybe it's all a misunderstanding."

"Maybe," Aoko offered kindly.

"…How long ago did he promise you he was going to confess?" Kaito sighed, letting go of denial.

"This latest time? He's promised at least three times," Aoko clarified as gently as she could, knowing it would be hard for Kaito to hear. "Maybe a few months before you and Kudo started officially dating?"

"Dammit," Kaito sighed. "What the hell am I supposed to do with all this? I _love_ my boyfriend. I want to marry and have a life together with my boyfriend…but I love Saguru too. It's not the same—I mean, I don't love Saguru in the same way that I love Shinichi—but I don't want to lose Saguru or keep hurting him or stringing him along, if…if that's what I have been doing all this time. …If things had been different, if Saguru had said something…I don't know where we would be right now, but he didn't, and I'm not leaving Shinichi unless he drops the ball and royally screws things up, so…God, I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

Kaito fisted his hand in his hair, shaking his head as he tried to regulate his breathing. He'd gotten out of practice in the years since his last heist, and so he found his once impeccable breath control sadly diminished in capacity.

Aoko rested her hand on his neck, rubbing lightly at his jaw with her thumb. "Why are you so sure that Saguru would want you to leave Kudo? Has he ever hinted at anything like that or made suggestions that you would be better off with someone else?"

Kaito stopped to really consider the question. "…No. He hasn't. I mean, last night after I finished telling him about how messed up things had gotten with Shinichi, he made the comment that it didn't sound like a healthy relationship, but I don't think he said anything about getting out of it. In fact, he was pretty adamant about fixing everything for me and telling me that all hope wasn't lost yet, so it doesn't really sound like he wants me to break up with Shinichi. But he's never once mentioned being in love with me, so I don't know if he'd say anything if he wanted me to break up with my boyfriend either. I have no idea what's going on in that guy's head, Aoko. What the hell am I supposed to do?"

Aoko pursed her lips and paused a moment to allow Kaito to catch his breath before she answered, "I think you're supposed to talk to _him_ about this and figure things out together…like what you did with Kudo."

Kaito laughed, but it sounded strangled and panicked. "Aoko, I can't deal with this. The whole confrontation with Shinichi was bad enough. I didn't have the nerve to talk to him and deal with things until after I'd dragged him off to bed for a good two or three hours. Only then could I function enough to sort things out. Somehow, I don't think I can use the same strategy with Saguru."

Aoko grinned, opening her mouth to reply, but Kaito cut her off.

"Shut up. Don't even suggest it."

Aoko shrugged. "I was just going to comment that you are seriously messed up if you can't have a serious discussion without having screwed your brains out first."

"It's fine because I know that it's an unhealthy coping mechanism," Kaito retorted petulantly.

Aoko raised an eyebrow. "Does knowing that it's unhealthy make it 'fine'?" she wondered.

Kaito pouted. "You are mean. I came over here for your help, and you go and bully me."

Aoko rolled her eyes, still grinning. "You could always spend a few hours in bed with Kudo before going over to Saguru's, if that's really what you have to do."

Kaito briefly considered the idea before rejecting it, shaking his head violently (and almost clocking Aoko in the process). "That would just be wrong. If Saguru really does still have feelings for me, I can't come to him straight from my boyfriend's bed. That's…like rubbing his face in it."

"Kaito, do you want me to come with you or talk to him for you or something? Play mediator?" she offered.

Kaito met her eye, holding her gaze for nearly ten seconds before slowly and sadly shaking his head. "No. Thank you, Aoko. It means a lot to me, you offering, but I have to do this myself. I've been letting other people solve my problems for me a little too often lately. It sucks, but I have to start taking responsibility for my relationships."

"My little Kaito is growing up," Aoko teased, giving his head a reassuring pet. "I'm proud of you, you know that? I know how hard it is for you to confront people you care about and fear losing when there's a problem. If you need my help with anything, even while you're over there talking to him, you can call me, and I'll do my best to help you through it, okay?"

Kaito nodded, gradually sitting up and releasing the hold he had on her hand. "Okay," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. Then, a second time, more confidently, "Okay. Thanks, Aoko."

"Any time," she assured, smiling fondly at her oldest friend as she moved back onto the couch beside him. "Wanna talk about something else now to help you calm down?"

"I just want to sit here for a bit, if that's okay?" Kaito let his head tip so that it was resting on Aoko's shoulder.

"Of course. You just let me know when you're ready, and I'll have Takashi drive you home."

"I can walk. I mean, it's not that far. Or, if I need to, the trains will still be running for a couple of hours. It's not _that_ late."

Aoko waved away Kaito's excuses. "I want to make sure you get home safe. Besides, this will be a good punishment for Takashi for that whole wanting to quit his bank job nonsense."

"If you insist." Kaito backed down, knowing there was no point in further resistance.

"I _insist_ ," Aoko replied cheerily but in a way that let him know that he shouldn't bring the subject up again.

…

"Shinichi!" Kaito shouted as soon as the door was shut behind him.

"Here!" Shinichi called from the living room just off the entryway. He dropped the book he'd been listlessly reading and rushed out into the hall to meet his boyfriend. "What happened?! What's wrong?!" he demanded, doing a quick visual check for injuries before Kaito threw his arms around Shinichi, sealing Shinichi's lips with a hungry kiss.

"Clothes. Off," Kaito gasped between forceful kisses, beginning to undo the buttons of his own shirt.

"Whoa," Shinichi panted, trying to pull back from Kaito to get a handle on the situation. "Hold on. What's wrong? What happened at Aoko's?"

"My brain needs addling because I need to stop thinking for a while," Kaito quickly explained, leaning back in. "So, clothes off now."

"Kaito," Shinichi softly chided, putting a hand to Kaito's lips to stop their advance. "I don't think it's healthy to run from your problems like this."

"You were all for it when it served your purposes earlier, when you got home today," Kaito snorted, pushing aside Shinichi's hand and trying once more to lean in for another kiss.

Shinichi shrank back at Kaito's chastisement, ears coloring at the revelation of his own hypocrisy. "Okay," he acknowledged. "Yes. I was perfectly willing to engage in unhealthy coping behaviors with you earlier, but this time I'm going to be responsible and—"

"—Please?" Kaito whimpered, eyes beginning to tear up at the corners. "I feel wretched and guilty and scared and lost, and I really need you to help me make it stop hurting because this is all a little more than I can take right now. If you won't sleep with me, can you at least sleep dart me? I—"

"—Shh," Shinichi cut him off before Kaito could start hyperventilating because Shinichi could tell that that was the direction they were headed. "Come here," he softly coaxed, taking Kaito by the hand and tugging him into the living room, over to the couch. "Clothes stay on," Shinichi laid down the ground rules as he pulled Kaito down on top of him and began to kiss him languidly.

Kaito smiled into the kiss, giggling as he allowed himself to get lost in the simple pleasure of making out.

Twenty minutes passed blissfully before Kaito and Shinichi eventually slowed to a stop, Kaito resting his head on Shinichi's chest with a contented sigh, "Thank you."

"Feel better?" Shinichi chuckled, running his fingers lazily through Kaito's hair.

"Mm," Kaito hummed happily as he played with Shinichi's shirt collar.

"Are we going to discuss what this was all about?" Shinichi tentatively asked, afraid to send Kaito into a panic again.

Kaito tensed at first but then slowly forced himself to relax and breathe. He snuggled into Shinichi's chest and mumbled, "Apparently Saguru's in love with me."

Now it was Shinichi's turn to go rigid. "H-How…?"

"You were a little too insistent that Saguru having feelings for me would be ridiculous," Kaito confessed. "That reminded me of a conversation I'd had with Aoko back when you and I first slept together. I told her I'd slept with a guy, and she got excited because she thought it was Saguru. I laughed it off back then and told her that was ridiculous.

"Today, I started to think that maybe it wasn't so ridiculous after all, and—what do you know—it turns out my best friend has been in love with me since high school, and all this time I've been trampling all over his feelings with my carelessness and my selfishness and my oblivion. How the hell did I miss something like that?"

Shinichi rested a comforting hand on Kaito's back. "To be fair, you didn't seem to have any idea how crazy I was for you before we were dating," Shinichi offered, not sure if he were helping. "I mean, you and I were sleeping together, and up until the point when I asked you out, you didn't appear to have any notion of how I felt about you. Heck, even after I confessed, you still didn't believe it. You seem to have a hard time accepting that people are capable of loving you, so…maybe the thought that Hakuba could actually care about you wasn't something you could wrap your head around, so you never saw it?"

Kaito chuckled forlornly. "That's a nice little excuse. I might have to use that sometime."

"It might be true," Shinichi offered with a shrug.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kaito wondered aloud, not bothering to be accusatory until it proved warranted. "You had a pretty good reason to be wary of my best friend, but you never told me to justify yourself."

"It would have hurt you to find out from me," Shinichi muttered, wishing even now that he could put the lid back on Pandora's box for Kaito. "Hakuba didn't seem to want you to know either, and I didn't want to mess up your relationship with him. I may not be a fan of what you two have going on, but I realize how important that relationship is to you, so…no matter how worried I was about him, I couldn't sabotage your friendship."

Kaito tipped his chin up to kiss Shinichi gratefully on the jaw. "I appreciate you. That was very big of you, Shinichi."

Shinichi shrugged again. "I love you," he replied simply, as if that explained everything.

In a way, it did.

There was a comfortable silence for a while, but Shinichi eventually broke it as his curiosity got the better of him.

"What are you going to do now? Does Hakuba know that you know?"

Kaito shook his head. "Aoko said that I need to go talk to him and figure things out like what I did with you. I have no idea what I'm going to say to him, but I'm going to go see him tomorrow evening."

Shinichi nodded slowly as he processed. "…Is there anything I can do to help?"

Kaito sighed and shook his head once more. "Unfortunately, no. I have to figure this out myself…and with him. There's got to be some way I can be there for him and be the emotional support he needs and we can still be friends without me hurting him like I've been doing for years now. I guess I'll just have to be honest and accept what happens."

"…What do you _want_ to happen?" Shinichi was almost afraid to ask.

Hearing the apprehension in his boyfriend's voice, Kaito pushed himself up to look Shinichi in the eye and study Shinichi's face. "Ideally? Haku-chan will tell me that he's long over me, it wasn't a big deal, and we don't have a problem."

Shinichi's brow creased. "Really?"

Kaito shrugged. "Like I told Aoko earlier, maybe if Saguru had told me how he felt, I would be with him right now, but that's not what happened. When things are going well between us, I am _genuinely_ happy, so it's not like I'm going to run out on you unless you completely forget everything we talked about today and things don't improve in a year or two. I know a traditional threesome isn't the right solution for us because of everyone's situations and individual needs, but I have to find some way of staying loyal to you while still taking care of Saguru—because he's too precious for me to lose like that. You both are."

"You're forgetting something," Shinichi informed in a kind tone.

Kaito raised an eyebrow.

" _You_."

Kaito blinked. "Me?"

"You need to find a solution where Kaito is taken care of too. You can't just take care of Hakuba and me and not make sure that you're taken care of as well. If you need help, just ask. Like I said before, I'm going to trust you, but I kind of feel like I should be in on this conversation as well. Once you two have talked and figured things out as best as you can, or if you're still stuck on anything and need a third opinion, let me know, and I'll see if there's anything I can contribute. I know losing Hakuba would be like losing your leg, so even though I'm not overjoyed with the whole situation, I'm going to do my best to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. I just don't want to feel powerless in this, so let me have some kind of a say?"

"Of course, Shinichi," Kaito cooed, leaning in to peck his boyfriend on the nose. "We're all going to figure this out together."

Shinichi grinned. "Are _you_ reassuring _me_ now?"

Kaito smiled bashfully. "Making out helped. I'm feeling much more positive now."

"Good." Shinichi gave Kaito's neck a nuzzle. "My Kaito should always be confident and radiant."

Kaito gave a snort. "Always? That's a tall order to fill. Even back in high school when I felt like I was indestructible and on top of the world, there were still plenty of days when I had to fake it. That's like me saying 'My Shinichi should always be brilliant and witty'. You're practically braindead before coffee, and sometimes you say the stupidest things."

"Hey," Shinichi whined. "I was trying to say something nice."

"You like it when I tease you," Kaito pointed out.

Shinichi pursed his lips in a pout.

Kaito kissed them. "You may fumble the ball sometimes, but when you're wonderful, you're _wonderful_. Thanks for being so understanding about all this."

Shinichi shrugged. "Well, as you mentioned, you _never_ say anything about Ran and Hattori. Besides, the only other alternative would be to lose you, and that is _not_ happening while I have any kind of say."

"Good to know we're on the same page."

The hall clock chimed, and Shinichi yawned.

"Bedtime?" Kaito chuckled.

"Bedtime," Shinichi agreed, giving Kaito's forehead a smooch before the two disentangled and got up off the couch.

They made their way up the stairs hand in hand.


	6. The Aftermath Part Three

Mikau: Hi guys! I'm really sorry it took so long to get this final chapter done. Work got a little unmanageable when my coworker went on vacation. I was doing her job, my job, and a special project when any one of those would have been work enough. And then my computer somehow deleted what I had written of Chapter Six, so I had to redo some of it. Anyway. It's done now, and that's what's important. Thank you so much to all of you who have been patiently waiting for the conclusion to this fic. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, there would be an episode every once in a while where the gang did something that wasn't solving a mystery. You know like in the sports manga where the team plays a different sport and it's all fanservice-y. That.

…

Chapter Six: The Aftermath Part Three

Saguru was so absorbed in the case file in front of him, he didn't notice when Shinichi came in the following morning. He jumped when the other detective set a bento down on his desk followed shortly thereafter by a cloth sack.

"Sorry." Shinichi winced, smiling sheepishly as Saguru looked up. "I thought you'd heard me when I said good morning."

Saguru grimaced. "Unfortunately, no."

"Well…good morning." Shinichi tried again, feeling unbearably awkward after the events of the previous day.

"Good morning, Kudo," Saguru sighed before turning to investigate the items Shinichi had deposited. He pulled back the bag's opening with a finger to peek inside. "What do we have here?"

"The bento's your lunch," Shinichi informed. "Kaito said he'd be packing a boxed lunch for you from now on?"

Hakuba nodded, pleasantly surprised. "Oh. I didn't realize that he actually meant it."

"Oh, he meant it," Shinichi confirmed. "Look forward to quadruple the usual amount of mother henning from Kaito for at least the next few months. He's really serious about taking better care of you going forward."

A soft, appreciative smile tugged at the corner of Saguru's mouth, the warmth even reaching his tired eyes. "That's…very kind."

Shinichi tried to hide his discomfort, but he shifted slightly, and Saguru picked up on it.

"And the other bag?" Hakuba moved on quickly. The contents of the cloth sack were hidden under the floral handkerchief tied around them for presentation's sake, and Hakuba was unsure whether he should undo the whole bundle right then and there.

"Assorted baked goods," Shinichi supplied. "Kaito kind of went on a baking rampage yesterday. He sort of does that when he's…" Shinichi cleared his throat and looked away.

"Stressed out or upset," Saguru finished knowingly. "…Things are…better now?" He was almost afraid to ask about the sensitive subject.

Shinichi's ears colored, and he avoided Saguru's gaze. "Yeah. We're gonna be okay…. Thanks again…and sorry. I…" Shinichi let out a soft sigh through pursed lips. "Look. Can we talk?" Shinichi glanced tentatively up at his rival.

Hakuba blinked once in acute surprise before assenting. "Of course. The roof?"

Shinichi nodded, turning to lead the way.

As soon as the roof access door was closed behind them, words came tumbling about of Shinichi's mouth. "I know you said it was fine yesterday, but I really want to apologize again for the things that I said. I'm sorry that I meant them. I know I said I was mostly fine with the way things are between you and Kaito, but I lied. I was just putting on a tough act because I didn't want you to know how insecure your relationship with Kaito makes me feel, but—"

"—Kudo, slow down." Saguru put his hands up, trying to get a handle on the situation before Shinichi's rushed explanation could spiral any further out of control. "You don't need to apologize to me. I really did mean it yesterday when I said to forget about it."

Shinichi raked a hand through his hair as he shook his head. "But I still feel like scum now that I've got my head on straight. I mean…" He met Hakuba's gaze uncertainly. "You do know that I don't hate you, right? I know we're not super close, but I do genuinely like you most of the time, and…I do consider you a friend."

Hakuba's lips slowly spread into an encouraging smile. "Good to know we're on the same page."

"And I _do_ want you to be okay," Shinichi continued. "It's okay for you and Kaito to spend time together, and I want you to come over and eat with us because you really do need to eat better, and you do deserve to have someone look out for you and take care of you like you take care of others. You're a good guy, Hakuba, and I don't wish you ill. It's just when it comes to Kaito…" Shinichi shook his head again with a gloomily sigh. "You're a threat, and I know that if I let my guard down or screw up badly enough, I could lose him to you."

Saguru responded hesitantly when it appeared that Shinichi wasn't going to say anything more. "I'm really sorry you feel that way. I have no intention of stealing your boyfriend from you…for what little that's probably worth."

"…Thanks," Shinichi replied half-heartedly. He pursed his lips, frowning, and the conversation lapsed into an awkward silence of just short of two minutes.

Hakuba shifted uncomfortably and was just about to ask if Shinichi needed to talk to him about anything else when Shinichi broke the silence on his own.

"Can I ask you something? Something that's probably too personal for our level of friendship?"

Hakuba shrugged one shoulder and reluctantly agreed, "Sure, Kudo. What is it?"

It took Shinichi an unusually long time to get the question out. "…Have you and Kaito…ever slept together?"

It looked like it had taken every ounce of strength Shinichi had to ask.

Saguru's eyes widened. "What?"

"Sorry." Shinichi seemed to shrink and crumple in on himself even further. "I'm sorry, it's just been driving me nuts for years now. I can deal with the physical touchy-feely way you guys are—I've grown used to that—and I can even deal with the way he smooches you occasionally, b—"

"—Kudo," Saguru firmly cut him off. "Look. I…" Saguru licked his lips, taking out his pocket watch to grip reassuringly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before starting again. "I'm going to tell you something personal, and hopefully that will give you some peace of mind."

Shinichi nodded, beginning to look hopeful.

"Kudo, you don't have to worry about Kaito having intercourse with me. It never has, nor will it ever, happened. I'm asexual." Saguru bit the inside of his cheek and uneasily waited for Shinichi's reaction.

Shinichi's brow furrowed, his eyes narrowed, and his nose twitched. "That can't be right. I _know_ for a fact that you've been in love with Kaito since high school, so how can you be…?"

Saguru anxiously fingered the rim of the pocket watch as he tried to piece together an explanation. "It's really not as simple as having romantic feelings for another person or not. I'm not aromantic. Just…"

Judging from the deepening lines of confusion on Shinichi's face, Saguru could tell he was only further losing his audience. He took another breath and tried again.

"Okay. Let's back up, shall we? I never thought I'd have to discuss this, and I'm not very comfortable doing so, but…there's a difference between being asexual and aromantic. I've never met anyone else like me, so I can only speak from my own experiences and what little I gleaned from the internet when I was an adolescent trying to figure out what exactly was wrong with me, but…I do feel a romantic attraction to other people. I like feeling an emotional connection to others, and I am able to enjoy activities such as kissing and holding hands and other affectionate interactions. So, yes, I am in love with Kaito, but, as I'm sure you're aware, having romantic feelings for someone can be completely divorced from sexual intimacy."

"Okay." Shinichi nodded uncertainly, slowly processing. "So you're capable of having romantic relationships up to a point, but the asexual part means that…you can't have sex? Or…? Sorry." Shinichi cringed. "I'm sorry. I know I've heard the term asexual before, but I never stopped to really think about what that meant, and—"

"—It's okay, Kudo," Saguru replied gently, feeling a little better knowing that Shinichi was trying to understand and probably feeling almost as uncomfortable as Saguru himself. "I don't think it's something most people have the occasion to contemplate. I don't think it's something people generally discuss outside of potential romantic relationships."

He cleared his throat and resumed his explanation. "I am physically capable of having intercourse, if I so desired, but…I don't desire it. Not even with Kaito. I've never had an interest in sexual intimacy, so…" He shrugged, fingering his watch. "You really have no reason to fear losing your boyfriend to me."

"Does _Kaito_ know you—you're asexual?" Shinichi fumbled but kept going with desperate determination.

Saguru nodded. "I talked with him about it just after high school."

Shinichi took a deep breath, looking out at the sky as it all sank in. "Okay," he whispered after a contemplative silence. "Okay. So I've been losing sleep over nothing for years now, I'm a massive jerk, and I've completely overreacted."

"Please don't apologize again," Hakuba meekly requested.

Shinichi turned to face Hakuba once more with a weak smile. "Thank you. I'm sure that was weird and kind of icky for the both of us, but I really needed to hear that, so _thank you_ , Hakuba." Shinichi tentatively held out his hand in peace.

At first Hakuba blinked at the once-familiar custom from long ago but then grinned as he accepted Shinichi's firm handshake. "You're welcome, Kudo."

"So…you should come over for dinner tonight," Shinichi suggested as they headed back to Division One. "We're probably having take away…or baked goods…as Kaito's still kind of…in a state—over something else. Not me or anything I did," Shinichi rushed to assure. "But he'd really like you to come over and eat with us. You know. To kind of reassure him that everything's okay and we're all still friends? He's probably going to come over to your place to talk after you get off work, but, if you're able, come back to the house with him for dinner."

"I think I will," Saguru answered with a smile, actually meaning it. "It means a lot to me that you're extending the invitation, Kudo. I wouldn't want to intrude on your family time."

Shinichi shrugged Saguru's doubts off. "You _are_ Kaito's family. So I guess that makes us in-laws, right?"

Saguru considered for a minute before letting out a short laugh. "I suppose that follows. Does that mean that Aoko is your sister-in-law as well?"

Shinichi grimaced, opening the door and holding it for Saguru. "I guess so…. Man. And she's every bit as scary as Ran."

"She hasn't murdered you with a mop yet," Saguru offered encouragingly.

" _Yet_ ," Shinichi sighed.

"Don't worry." Saguru reassured with a sickly-sweet smile. "If you ever did anything that deserved death by mop, I would be the one to kill you first."

Shinichi nearly choked on a laugh. "…That's actually not a comforting thought."

…

Kaito was sitting outside Hakuba's door when he returned home that evening. Kaito—who had looked ashen and jittery before spotting Hakuba—tensed, paled, and dropped the cards he had been shuffling mid-bridge when he saw his friend coming.

Saguru stooped to help pick up the mess, and when his hand accidentally brushed against Kaito's, the magician jumped, hastily pulling back as if he'd been zapped.

Saguru paused to frown accusatorially. "What's wrong? What's happened?"

Kaito thought about lying, but he knew they'd be discussing it within the hour, so what was the point? He let out a bone-tired sigh and went back to retrieving the cards. "I had a bit of an epiphany last night. Aoko confirmed my suspicions, so I've been feeling like the scum of the earth all day. We'll talk inside."

Saguru gave this revelation a curt nod and hurried to gather the rest of the deck. This accomplished, he ushered Kaito inside, setting out the guest slippers and moving to quickly put his things away.

"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable on the couch. I'll put some tea on, yes?"

He could sense that this situation would call for tea, and the English part of him reacted instinctively.

"Tea would be fabulous, thank you," Kaito sighed, sinking into the couch like a boneless ragdoll and staring blankly up at the ceiling.

Hakuba poked his head out from the kitchen to study his beloved. He pursed his lips, taking in the dark circles, blotchy complexion, and reddish tint of Kaito's eyes. "…Kai, you look miserable," Hakuba finally decreed.

"Tea first," Kaito groaned. "Explanation in a minute. Please?"

"What kind would you like?" Saguru didn't press.

"Tie Guanyin?" Kaito inquired hopefully, then muttered, "I could use some mercy."

Saguru raised an eyebrow but did not comment. "Iron Goddess of Mercy, coming right up."

Three minutes later, Saguru set the tea things down on the coffee table in front of Kaito. Kaito reached to pour for himself, but Saguru shoed his hands away. "You're a guest. _I'll_ be mother."

The pall of gloom lifted from Kaito's face for the first time, and he chuckled, "After nearly a decade living here, you still break into English to use that expression. You would think you'd have started saying 'I'll pour' or something like that in Japanese by now."

Saguru shrugged, filling Kaito's western-style teacup before moving on to his own. "It's part of who I am. I grew up hearing 'I'll be mother'. If we transplanted you to England for a decade, I bet you'd still say 'Ittadakimasu' before you ate."

Kaito thought about it for a moment before conceding. "That's fair, but that's something I say every day, at least twice a day. I doubt 'I'll be mother' came up with the same frequency. I just think it's a strange anachronism what with gender roles and family situations changing. The mother isn't necessarily the one that pours the tea nowadays. Some families don't have a mother, and in other cases 'mum' is too busy being CEO of her own business to pour tea. Just saying."

Hakuba nodded, smiling fondly as he raised his cup and saucer. "My mother was certainly never the one to pour. Baaya…was always…"

Kaito slipped off one of his guest shoes and reached out his leg to rub his toes soothingly up and down Saguru's calf.

Saguru laughed at himself, shaking his head. "Thanks, Kai. I still…I can be fine one minute, not even thinking about it, but then…it hits me all over again that she's gone."

Kaito smiled sadly, nodding. "It's the same way with my dad almost twenty years later."

They sat in companionable silence, sipping their tea gingerly for a few minutes before Hakuba remembered that he still didn't know why Kaito had come.

"Kai…you wanted to speak to me about something? You were looking pretty upset earlier."

Kaito took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah. I'm…pretty messed up, but the tea really helped and just sitting here, talking normally. I've been freaking out all day, but now that I'm here, I kind of feel silly for getting so bent out of shape. I mean…you don't resent me for anything, right?" Kaito sent Hakuba an inquiring but fairly neutral look.

"What?" Hakuba balked. "No. Of course not. Whatever put that idea into your head?"

"Exactly." Kaito chuckled sheepishly. "You don't secretly loath me, and you're not mad at me."

"Decidedly not," Saguru snorted. "Kaito, what—"

"—And our friendship is really strong, right? It can withstand a lot, so it's not like I have to worry about losing you as a friend," Kaito continued, realizing that it was true even as he spoke the words. "We can figure things out together and make things okay, so…everything's going to be okay, right?"

The pleading look in Kaito's eyes tugged at Saguru's heart, making it ache. He set down his teacup and moved from the armchair to the sofa next to Kaito. He cupped Kaito's cheeks in his hands, forcing Kaito to meet his gaze as Saguru demanded, "Kaito, tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me."

Kaito's lips parted, but no sound came out. He licked his lips; they quivered, and he tried again. "Why did you never tell me that you were in love with me?"

Saguru's hands dropped into his lap as his eyes widened, panic filling them. He opened his mouth and looked like he was about to deny it, but he seemed to change his mind at the last second. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and then letting it out in a defeated sigh. Looking like he was dreading the answer, Saguru asked, "Who told you?"

"Aoko told me years ago when I first got involved with Shinichi, but I wrote her off as being an insane BL shipper, since she really did see pairings everywhere she looked back then. Last night, something just clicked and I finally realized that she had been right," Kaito confessed. "You don't still have feelings for me, do you?" He held his breath.

Saguru slipped his hand into his pocket, fingering his pocket watch. "…No?"

Kaito shot his friend an exasperated look. "Saguru, if you're going to lie, get a better poker face."

Saguru sighed, meekly returning Kaito's gaze. "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know." Kaito picked up his teacup and stared down into the honey-colored liquid. "…The truth, I think," he replied slowly. "I don't know. What I _don't_ want is for you to tell me what you think I want to hear. That's not going to solve matters. Me being clueless is the problem, so we need to stop perpetuating that, at least."

"Okay." Hakuba took a steadying breath. "This isn't how I wanted this to go, but…Kaito, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since high school…. Is that what you wanted?"

Kaito nibbled on his bottom lip, trying to digest. "Yes and no. Why didn't you tell me?"

Hakuba shrugged one shoulder wearily, settling back into the couch with his own cup of tea, sipping at it absentmindedly. "Well, at first I thought you were straight. Then I was afraid you wouldn't return my feelings. After that, I believed it wasn't the right time because you were still going through your sexuality crisis, and I wanted to respect that and give you time. …Then there was Baaya…. By the time that stopped being the issue, you were with Kudo and I didn't want to interfere. So here we are. …Sorry," he added as an afterthought.

"Don't be sorry." Kaito set down his cup and turned to meet Hakuba's eyes once more. "You didn't do anything wrong; _I_ did."

Saguru raised an eyebrow at this.

"I didn't realize…" Kaito made a convoluted gesture that conveyed little in and of itself. "I mean…I'm not upset with you—okay, I'm a _little_ upset with you for not telling me, but—I'm upset with _me_. I've been thoughtless and selfish, and I've hurt you, haven't I? Don't lie, Saguru."

Hakuba shook his head. "It was nothing that you did. I hurt myself."

"Sometimes I wish you'd strike out at me instead of turning it all inward back at yourself," Kaito snorted. "Let me start over. I'm here because we need to talk about this, and—don't get me wrong—your feelings for me aren't the problem. The problem is that I walk all over you and take advantage of your friendship and unwittingly do things that must hurt you. That's got to stop, so…I'm here because I need you to tell me what I can do better."

" _Nothing_ ," Hakuba insisted. "There's nothing, Kai, because you're not hurting me. Everything is fine."

Kaito gave Hakuba a skeptical, unamused look.

Saguru shrugged. "Honestly. I accept the fact that all there is between us is friendship. I accept that you have a significant other with whom you wish to build a life. Yes, I do get a little down sometimes when I let myself dwell on the fact that it isn't me, but it's not as if I'm constantly miserable and spend my days pining away after you. I may be a little pathetic, holding a candle for someone so long and eschewing the idea of trying to find someone else, but I'm no tragic hero, Kaito. I'm not unhappy, and I do have other meaningful things in my life besides a romantic relationship that make it fulfilling. So long as you are not made uncomfortable by my harboring feelings for you, there is no problem between us that I can see. I don't expect anything from you, and I don't look for anything to change."

Kaito stared at his friend intently for some time before nodding in acceptance. "Okay. I believe you, but…if I ever do anything that hurts you, promise to tell me. The thought that I've been stomping all over your feelings and rubbing my relationship with Shinichi in your face for at least half a decade now has been making me physically ill all day. I really care about how you're feeling, and I never want something like that to happen…so promise to tell me, okay?"

"I promise," Saguru conceded reaching out to pat Kaito on the head fondly. "Stop thinking so hard. Everything is fine, Kai."

"Is it?" Kaito mumbled, eyes a little distant.

" _I_ say it is."

Kaito smiled sadly. "I don't know. I love Shinichi, and this life feels right, but…I can't help but wonder if I missed a chance."

Saguru frowned. "What chance?"

Kaito sighed and rolled his eyes affectionately. " _You_ , Hakubaka."

Saguru's eyebrows raised, getting lost in his bangs. "Sorry?"

"God, did you never stop to wonder what brought on my sexuality crisis in the first place?" Kaito teasingly kicked at Saguru's calf. " _You_. It was at that one heist senior year of high school at the Suzuki's charity ball. I saw you standing by yourself on the fringe of the party by the fountain in the garden, and I thought, 'He looks really handsome in that suit with the moonlight shimmering in his hair. I wonder what it'd be like to kiss him.'"

"Y-You know, you don't have to make this up to make me feel better, Kai," Saguru stammered through a debilitating blush, looking quite like a boiled lobster.

Kaito gave Hakuba's ankle a soft kick. "Idiot. Remember how late I was that night? I had to go do breathing exercises for ten minutes in the ladies' room before I could calm down enough to do the heist," he retorted in an overexaggerated pout. The teasing tone dropped out of his voice as he added, "I had a bit of a crush on you for years. I mean, it probably wasn't anything like what you felt…feel…I wasn't in love by any means, but if you had told me how you felt, I know I could have fallen for you. Who knows where we would be right now?"

"Thank you for sharing that," Saguru whispered with a wistful smile. "But I think you ended up where you belong. We might have dated for a while, but I don't know that we're a good fit romantically in the long run. You would have met Kudo and fallen in love with him just like you did."

"You don't know that," Kaito grumbled. "And I would have liked to have been given the choice."

Saguru shook his head. "You would have chosen Kudo. It's better this way. It would have hurt to lose you, to have you reject me. This way, I have you in my life without that pain."

"You don't _know_ that," Kaito repeated sullenly.

"Kaito, would you really have been happy in a relationship without physical love? I know how important intercourse in a relationship is for you. In order for you to feel like your relationship is whole and healthy, you need that physical bond with your partner. That's not something I could have given you, and you would have felt miserable and guilty in a relationship with me without it. That's another reason I never revealed my feelings to you. I couldn't have asked you to make that sacrifice."

Kaito looked up at Saguru, studying his face attentively. "You know, when you say it like that, it makes me feel like it wouldn't have been a sacrifice. …You're a genuinely good guy, Saguru, and anyone would be lucky to have you. I really hope you find someone worthy of you someday."

"You won't be jealous about sharing me?" Saguru teased, trying to distract himself as well as Kaito from the feelings Kaito's confession aroused within him.

"Hell yeah, I'm going to be jealous," Kaito snorted. "As best friend, I have every right to be jealous. If they stick around and withstand my obnoxiousness and bullying, I'll know they make the cut."

Saguru shook his head slowly, wondering what he had done to deserve Kaito. He must have been either really good or really bad in a former life. "Well, it's a good thing I'm off the market. I'd hate to have to explain and justify your behavior to someone not already familiar with you; it would only make me look nutters."

"You're sure you don't want to try to find someone else?" Kaito gently urged, not entirely sure he wanted Hakuba to change his mind either.

Saguru shook his head once more. "My idea of a whole and healthy relationship isn't quite the same as other people's. I was being truthful when I said that I didn't want anything more from you. You already fulfill the majority of my physical and emotional relationship needs, so I see no need to go out in search of a romantic partner."

Kaito nodded, part of him secretly relieved while the other part felt secretly guilty. He didn't want to enter into a relationship with Saguru himself at present, but he didn't want anyone else to fill that place either.

"Okay, but what about the needs that aren't being met? There's got to be ways I could improve our relationship while still being faithful to my boyfriend."

Saguru considered a minute before answering. "Making a concerted effort to keep me fed is much appreciated. I was touched that you really did mean it when you said you'd make me a bento. That's something that means a lot to me, so thank you, Kaito."

"Yeah, but what else?" Kaito demanded, drawing his legs up onto the couch and hugging his knees in as he tipped his head to the side at Hakuba. "Pretend that it's your perfect world. No ifs, ands, or buts, you can have anything and everything you want. No consequences, no obstacles. What does your life look like?"

Hakuba bit his lip as he thought about it. "We live together in a small house, about the size of your childhood home. We make meals together, roughhouse occasionally like children, and fall asleep every night snuggled up around each other. On nights and weekends, we go out on dates to concerts, parks, movies, shopping. From time to time we take a weekend trip to Hokkaido or Nara or Kyoto or Nagoya. We talk a lot and simply enjoy one another's company. All I really want is a fairly simple life, Kai. I don't really see anything we can change in the real world based on that."

"You could live closer," Kaito suggested. "And get your old bed back. I liked your queen-size a lot better than the futons you have now in your dreadful little apartment."

"My apartment isn't dreadful," Saguru sniffed indignantly.

"I hate it. Move," Kaito decreed. "There's a house down the street that's for sale. I can't invite you to live with us at Shinichi's, but if you lived right down the street, it'd be easier to invite you over for dinner last minute or have more sleepovers like we used to or even just for me to drop by your place or you to drop by mine. You have the money, Saguru. Move. And get your queen-size from your father's house. A bed's more conducive to cuddling than futons."

"I can't just…" Saguru frowned, pursing his lips, flustered. "I have a lease on my apartment. I can't just pick up and move."

"You can afford to buy the house and keep renting the apartment until the lease is up," Kaito lectured, refusing to back down. "Alternatively, you can also afford to pay to get out of your lease. So you're moving closer. That's one problem solved. We're already working on meals too with your bento for lunch. If you move closer, I can invite you for dinner more often or come over and cook with you on nights when Shinichi's working late. So that's living together, snuggling, and cooking. We already roughhouse when we hang out, so I guess that's taken care of too, right?"

Saguru shook his head. "I can't believe you're seriously going through my list."

"Do we hang out enough?" Kaito bulldozed right over the comment. "I mean, I know we enjoy each other's company when we do hang out, but do we hang out enough to fit your criteria?"

Saguru pursed his lips. "Sometimes? We used to. You've been a little preoccupied with your relationship in recent years, so…I feel like even when we are together doing things, a part of your mind is with him instead of me. Things will probably improve as the situation with Kudo gets better, so I'm not entirely worried about it, but…I didn't get to talk to you about what a rough day I'd had with a kidnapping the other day because you were having a day from hell thanks to your boyfriend. I don't mean that you can't confide in me about—about anything, really. I'm there to listen, but…it would be nice if we could have less one-sided conversations about your boyfriend. I care. I really do, Kaito, but Kudo does tend to monopolize discussions lately."

"Oh." Kaito did a mental scan of conversations with Hakuba over the last month and found that, increasingly, Shinichi kept cropping up. "Sorry. I—"

"—Don't be," Hakuba quickly cut Kaito off before the conversation could take an unproductive turn. "You've been dealing with a lot lately, and it's only natural that things with Kudo have been preoccupying your thoughts. Like I said, hopefully things will clear up on their own now that you and Kudo are being proactive about your relationship pitfalls. Maybe things will similarly get better on their own between us now that we're both aware of the issues ourselves."

"And if it doesn't, _tell me_ ," Kaito sighed.

"All right," Hakuba easily agreed.

"I guess that just leaves taking trips together." Kaito pursed his lips. "Shinichi's not going to like that. I could probably go away on a weekend trip once or twice a year just us, but it's going to make Shinichi nervous. Would it be okay if he tagged along sometimes? Not every time, but just…sometimes?"

Saguru considered the proposition. "I wouldn't be opposed if Kudo came occasionally. It might be a little awkward with either Kudo or me feeling like a third wheel, depending on how things go, but the three of us generally get along well when we spend time together."

"We could always turn it into a friends' weekend and have Shinichi bring Hei-chan," Kaito suggested.

Hakuba stiffened, nose wrinkling slightly. "That…would work. I don't think I could do it more than once or twice a year, but that's a good solution."

"Hattori would probably enjoy it too, getting to spend time on a romantic trip with Shinichi, the poor sap," Kaito snickered, grinning wickedly.

"I still haven't managed to figure out if Hattori knows he's desperately in love with your boyfriend or not," Saguru sighed.

Kaito shook his head. "He's still in denial. Kazuha-chan and I had a discussion about it last time the Hattoris were in town. Shinichi and Hei-chan went off to solve a case during dinner, so Kazuha-chan and I had the opportunity to cover a lot of ground."

"I see," Saguru hummed thoughtfully. "Well. I think that pretty much covers everything as far as you and I are concerned, yes?"

Kaito thought about it for a moment. "There's nothing else I can do to make things better? You said you weren't unhappy, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you are happy."

Saguru smiled at the compassion in his friend's eyes, chuckling, "No, Kaito. That's quite enough for now, thank you. I promise to let you know if I think of anything else. I'm actually doing pretty well, if you can believe it. Things were bad for a long time after Baaya, but I feel like I'm starting to get back on my feet again. Things are improving."

Kaito skeptically raised an eyebrow. "You're sure."

"Positive," Saguru insisted, getting to his feet and gathering the tea things. "Now, if there's nothing else, come along. Your boyfriend invited me over to your house for dinner. He mentioned ordering from that new Thai place that opened up by the station."

Kaito missed a beat. "Wait. What? _Shinichi_ invited you?"

"Indeed he did. He's trying, Kaito."

Kaito speechlessly followed Hakuba into the kitchen area.

"So things went well last night?" Hakuba prompted. "What with having to talk about us, I never got to hear about how the confrontation with Kudo went last night."

Kaito replied with the first thought that popped into his head. "He proposed."

Saguru nearly dropped one of the teacups. "Beg pardon?"

Kaito sighed, leaning against the doorjamb. "Yeah. Not the best timing, but…I told him to try again in a year or two. We talked a lot and ironed out the important things, so…I think we're okay now, if we both work on the things we promised to work on. Thanks again for what you did."

"You're welcome. I'm glad that things sound like they'll work themselves out." Saguru rinsed the cup and set it aside to be washed thoroughly later.

"Yeah," Kaito mumbled, still feeling off balance. "…Are we okay?"

Saguru turned, flicking droplets of water at Kaito. "Stop thinking so hard. You remember the time you strung me up from the chandelier in the Ekoda Museum lobby in a dress, covered in silly string, that pink goo, and glitter?"

"And you actually cursed on camera and threatened to torment me with fish as vengeance?" Kaito raised an eyebrow, not following this turn in the conversation.

Saguru cleared his throat. "Ah…yes. Well…at least it was in French, so I think you were the only one aware that I was cursing, and I believe I actually threatened to drown you in a fish tank, but…my point was that even at that point in our friendship, we were still okay, weren't we?"

"Even after you spent a week actually tormenting me with fish everywhere I turned," Kaito muttered.

"Exactly. If our friendship can survive me slipping a fish bowl inside of your locker and your house and pictures of fish into your textbooks and notebooks and messenger bag, it can survive my harboring feelings for you." Saguru set down the last of the dishes and turned to look Kaito in the eye. "We're okay, Kaito. We've never not been okay."

Kaito nodded, letting the tension dissipate and allowing himself to smile. "Okay. Good. Because you're too important for me to lose."

"The feeling is mutual," Saguru assured. "Come on. Let's go have dinner with your boyfriend."

…

When they arrived at the Kudo Manor, Shinichi met them at the door as if he had been stationed there, pacing as he waited for them to come.

"Hey. I'm home," Kaito greeted a little awkwardly as both parties looked at each other with some surprise. "Something wrong? What's going on?"

"Welcome home. Nothing's wrong. Why?" Shinichi assured.

Kaito shrugged. "You look concerned. And like you were heading out."

Shinichi's cheeks colored. "I…may have been waiting by the door for you to come home? Is everything…did everything go okay with you two? Hi, Hakuba." Shinichi looked back and forth between his coworker and his boyfriend.

"Please pardon the intrusion," Saguru spoke up with a diplomatic smile. "Everything is fine, Kudo. Thank you very much for your concern over the state of our friendship. It's much appreciated." Saguru escorted himself into the house proper and out of the entryway, politely signaling for the other two to follow. "Now, shall we make our way into the kitchen and decide what to order for dinner? I'm quite peckish, and Kaito's stomach has been grumbling for a good fifteen minutes now."

"Coming," Shinichi affirmed but hung back to give Kaito a welcome home kiss and to whisper, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Kaito confirmed with a genuine smile. "Thanks."

"I'm glad." Shinichi returned the grin, and they followed Hakuba into the kitchen.

"Guess what," Kaito piped up as he fetched the Thai restaurant menu from the bulletin board on the wall by the fridge. "Haku-chan's moving in to the house that's for sale just down the street."

"Oh really?" Shinichi turned to Saguru with an expression that indicated he wasn't opposed to the idea. "It…could be fun to be neighbors."

"Y-Yes. Well…it's not settled yet, but…I'm considering it," Saguru conceded, ignoring the puckish grin on Kaito's face.

The

End


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